The day I went away

Prologue

Do you know how it feels? You have everything but at the same time, you have nothing.

 You lost the only person who made your life bearable. Your family is far from where you live. Your friends are not your friends and they just take advantage of you. Your economic situation is terrible and everybody around you seem to be doing way better than you.

Every time I breathe it hurts. I feel like someone is stabbing right in my heart but it doesn't bleed, I just feel pain.

Every new day feeds my anxiety. I have so many reasons to cry for that I just don't know what I am crying for the next day.y own life. 

I'm old enough and I tried to build a perfect house. I wanted it to look perfect and beautiful, just like a Barbie house. This house looks amazing on the outside, but on the inside is a mess, there are negative feelings around the walls, non-wanted people laying on the couch, on my bed, using my bathroom. Every item on the house looks well maintained but when you touch it, it just breaks. The lights have been off for a long time and there is only one room who is lighted up but it is not enough to light up the whole house. There are people constantly knocking at the door with perverse looks and bad intentions. I really want to knock this house down. 

There are some pills on the nightstand next to me. I am just staring at them for so long that now I know their shape, color, and texture. 

I can't just take this idea out of my head...