Lost In The Dream

4 | Follow your Fire

Zimmy's POV

I was a freshman high school when people got obsessed with the phrase, never give up. I remember finding it helpful when I saw it first, but when I saw the phrase on every single shirts I see, I felt that it was mediocrity. Why would people wear those when they don't even care about other people's feelings? Like, was that supposed to cheer us up? I believed people wore it only because it's trendy, without context, without them fully understanding what was it for.

Starting that year, I have decided to go travel a different road. I loved being different, without any care of the world, not minding a single thing that other people would say. Of course, I'd be lying if I say that I truly didn't care about what others think of me. I eat them for breakfast and if it's not enough to wreck me, I think about it at night before I sleep. What people say about me behind my back is important for me, and although most of them are negative, I still want to know and pretend to use it to motivate me when it just breaks me completely. 

We were sitting at our usual spot in the cafeteria, tons of snack in front of us. My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks. Matthew opened a snack for me which I wasn't used to so I just stare at it blankly, when I was about to get it from him, he hurriedly put the snack on his mouth. "You're not my favorite person today, Matt," I said and get myself a snack that was long scattered on the table. 

"I'm not your favorite person in any day, Zimmy." He emphasized and took a sip from his boxed milk. 

The other three on our table seemed unbothered by mundanity, they were just about spending the whole break by reading materials about divorce. They have decided to join the debate competition because they thought it would be a great boost for their self-esteem. Not to mention, we were all from the debate society back in the Philippines. The competition is to test them if they are qualified to join the debate society here. I don't doubt their capabilities though.

"Seriously, why is divorce not legal in the Philippines?" Dara asked, throwing her hands in the air. Gab and Zephyr just nodded their heads and got back immediately to writing their arguments. 

"Pst, I know I'm not your favorite person but would you like to escape from here?" Matt asked and we found ourselves walking to the corridors of our building. He told me that he misses his dogs and would like to get another dog for the house, and I listened to him talk endlessly about a world of puppies and ice cream. Hearing all this from a guy made me happy, we were all about feminism and we have decided to go intersectional and this is one thing I'm proud of. Matt is not afraid of expressing himself and my heart jumps in joy.

The way to the medical center seemed to get nearer and nearer as day passed by, and the city is like a rock that no matter how many layers we peel back, we're still not able to touch its heart. I was walking back to the center with eight coffees on my hands, if it weren't me who lost the bet, I won't be here having a hard time, but at the same time I'm glad that I lost because finally, I had the city on my own.  

My feet burned due to too much walking so I have decided to have a break, I put the coffee on a stone bench just a block away from the center and I reached for my left foot that has been screaming more pain than the other. "Let me help you," someone demanded at my back and escorted me to sit on the bench as well. His hair was completely hiding his face and he was also wearing a mask. His eyes were the only feature I could see, a deep sienna that hugged lighter hues of a forest. 

"Your feet were swelling, are you walking for days?" He asked, waiting for me to answer back. 

"I'm kind of new here so I got lost a little." I noted as I brush his hand off of my foot. The awkward atmosphere will soon kill me so I stood up. He handed a mask before I could say anything. "The dust is going to make you sick, here wear it."