Lost In The Dream

13 | How Beautiful

Zimmy's POV.

After that night, I stopped being myself. I thought I'm stronger but I was wrong, I proved myself wrong for the nth time. I worked hard with my academics and was able to maintain my standing but there was one thing I've messed up: the internship. Dr. Lee assigned Matty as my assistant when he found out that I'm not doing my job properly, that I've been very close to our clients. I don't find it offensive though, I've been meaning to ask for help. Yes, I turned a year older but my life is still a mess. I don't know what road to take now.

I zipped my jacket the moment our car parked in front of the building where they are about to have their photoshoot, I turned the music off and fixed my earplugs. I saw Kihyun in the corner of my eye and he's doing the thing he is good atㅡ glancing.

I shrugged it off and made the easiest way to the building, I took the staff entrance. I bowed to every single authority that I've encountered with my head down and my pace quicker. I don't want to go near Kihyun anymore and I think the others have noticed, I'm glad no one ever said a word about it. The usual celebrity dressing room appeared before my eyes and I took a seat on the corner, hoping to be invisible but Changkyun and Jooheon greeted and asked if I already ate, I said no of course. I don't have that appetite anymore and I've been feeling full even without eating.

Kihyun stood up from his seat, and grabbed a lunchbox. He made his way to my place and put the box on my lap without saying a single word. This time, I was able to see his face. He looked thin and his face lost its hamster figure. I stared at the lunchbox and saw his name written on it, this freaking vocalist really has a way of giving me the nerve.

I stood up and gave his lunchbox back to him, with which his face grimaced and his eyes narrowed. My arms failed at being arms so it became exhausted and I almost dropped the box, thankfully I had time to place it down his desk.

The members fumed and gave us all a look of disgust, "are you going to continue doing that?" Minhyuk asked fumbling the stuff for his toothbrush.

"You guys should talk," Jooheon suggested to what the others nodded to.

I'm trapped again and stuck in the middle of the room. I think their eyes are all on me, "we have nothing to talk about though?" I informed them.

A lie. Honestly, we have a lot to talk about but it's too many that I don't know where to start. I wanted to ask him why he did the things that he did. Why he made me feel things? But the blame would still be on me, I assumed things and I over think and thought that we were on the same page, when I'm clearly not even reading the book he is reading.

"Are you sure, Zim?" Dara alluded. I looked at her with confusion, and if my eyes could speak, I already told her what is up and why is he suddenly siding with them. I calmed myself and relaxed my temples.

I glanced at Kihyun, the corners of his eyes crinkled. As if he's telling me to hold his hand, as if he's telling me to go with him.

"Earth to Zimmy?" I blinked my eyes a couple of times and Zephyr's face bombarded me. She was looking intently at me, then tapped my shoulder and gestured me to sit. Thank you.

I'm disheartened. I can't feel my heartbeats anymore, I tried pinching myself and I don't know if that's supposed to even hurt. I sighed and faced the wall, this time, desperate to be invisible.

Shownu and Minhyuk left for their photoshoot. Dara and Gabby followed them to check and do their job. They're functioning well and I'm glad but I envy them because they don't have issues or any awkwardness between their subjects. Later on, the others started their photoshoot one by one until I was left with him. Avoiding him was difficult because the more I avoid him, the more he gets nearer. He's been watching me fumble on my stuff over again. I see him in my peripheral vision and I think he's been thinking how insane I was.