It's A Brother Thing

Chapter 24: Confession

A/N so sorry for keeping y'all waiting. I hate this chapter. I wrote it so many times, which I posted a picture of. Haha. I couldn't get all my attempts in frame because there were so many. Anyways, I just have to post it and be happy with it so I can move forward or I never will.

BUT GET THIS GUYS: I've been rewriting this book, and the writing is something I'm extremely proud of. It's amazing. Especially because I've been fixing a lot of plot holes and improving my characters, etc. I think I'll post a sample chapter from the rewritten version just so you guys can get a little taste of my 'high quality' writing!
-
Jake's POV
-

I cheated.

I cheated.

I'm so sorry, I cheated.

The words play back in my mind. Over and over again. Yet, I'm not upset.

I narrow my eyes. "Can you repeat that?"

Alarmed, Simon snaps his face up out of his palms, sniffling. "W-what?"

I swallow, realizing how delicate this is. "Can you repeat what you just said?"

He opens his mouth, while I carefully watch his every facial muscle. If I'm right...

"I c-cheated."

He presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek. I feel my heart leap to my chest. He's lying! For as long as I can remember, Simon has done that with his tongue whenever he isn't being honest.

I feel something inside my cold heart twitch back to life. Maybe he didn't cheat on me after all. But why on earth would he lie to me about it? Doesn't he know how devastating it is to be cheated on by the one you love?

I bite my lip, still feeling nervous and nauseous. What if he'd rather just say he cheated on me than just break up with me because it's easier for him like this?

There's really no other reason for him to lie to me...but he said he loved me just two minutes ago?

"Simon," I bite my lip harder. This is going to be a risk, asking him. It could mean everything. It could be my downfall. "You're lying to me and I don't like it."

He freezes.

"Tell me the truth," I urge, desperate. "I just want to know what's really going on." That way, if Simon doesn't want to be with me...I can begin the grieving process.

God, I feel sick just thinking about it. It wouldn't be a normal break up. He's still my brother. I'd still have to live with him, see him, have to meet his new partners, have to act like plain, regular siblings. Like everything is fine.

The thought is horrifying.

Simon's green eyes are so wide and watery and caught off guard. He maneuvers his words carefully. "I-I'm not lying."

His tongue presses into his cheek again as he swallows nervously, the action drawing me to his throat. His skin is so soft and thin there. It bruises so easily. Like a peach. I want to kiss his neck. I miss him. His softness. His dreamy sighs.

With a stronger resolve, I stare into his eyes. "If you love me or care about me at all, you will look me in the eyes and tell me the truth."

Hesitantly, he looked up. His lips trembled when he opened them. And then he broke down.

"I-I'm sorry, Jake. I can't tell you the truth but I don't want to lie either. You don't understand the predicament I'm in."

I sit back. So there is more. My entire mood shifts to one of utter hope. There's a chance that we will be okay. "Try me."

I don't know who he is mistaking me for, but he and I both know there's not a lot I wouldn't understand. I mean, I'm dating my little brother for crying out loud. I think I have a good amount of acceptance and understanding in me.

"Go on," I add for good measure.

He wipes his eyes, his blonde hair falling into them adorably. "There's a person at school, who-"

He stops talking, crying more. I inch closer to him, wanting to just wrap him up in my arms and never let go. You can do it, Si.

"Who?" I prompt, trying to get him to finish his sentence.

He shakes his head. "This person-and I cant say who-...touches," he breaks on the word, while I feel a jolt of shock hit me. "Me..."

Touches? I blink a few times and swallow thickly. Don't get angry. Don't get angry. Don't get angry, Jakob. "By...force?"

Simon nods, his face covered by his small hands again.

Fuck. I'm angry. I'm so angry. The rage is shaking my body.

To the sides where Simon can't see, I allow my nails to dig deeply into my palms. Who the fuck would have the audacity to do a sick thing like that!

My breath starts coming out hot. Fuck. This is more enraging than when Dad hit Simon. Than when that bastard kidnapped Simon from the store. Than the situation with the basketball coach...

Why do people always want to fucking hurt him!? Is it because he's frail and small and trusts people easily? Is it because he can't fight back! How sick do you have to be!? He's just a child. Barely 16!

"Jake stop," I feel two cool hands on the sides of my face. I blink myself back into the moment, Simon's miserable green eyes, pleading with me.

I look down at my hands, feeling stinging in my palms. Shit. I was so upset I broke the skin with my nails. Wincing, I rub my palms on my jeans.

"S-sorry..."

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Be good for Simon's sake.

He lays back, choking slightly. "God, it hurts to move."

So I go to him. I carefully hug him, making sure our stomachs don't touch. He breaks again, cries hard, arms wrapped so tight around my neck. "I'm so sorry Jake. For making you think I was unfaithful. For lying to you-I just didn't know what to do, I-"

"Shh," I soothe, kissing his face. "Shh. It's okay. Look, just let me hold you. We'll talk about everything later. God, Simon. I am so sorry. You don't have to say anything else for now."

He nods against me, making me wince deeply when I feel his tear-covered cheek brush my neck.

So I hold him for the next five minutes, allowing silent tears to slide down my cheeks as he sobs and clutches at my shirt, undeniably in pain. Physically, yes, but mostly emotionally.

Our parents walk in, rushing to their sons side. My anger is ever present, but so is my guilt. I don't know how I didn't realize something was going on. I don't understand how I could've let someone abuse him while we were in the same building. How did I miss all the signs?

As a group, we all cry and hold tightly onto each other. My family is not perfect. We are, in fact, flawed. In many ways. My parents kiss his face, the same as I had, scolding him to never try and harm himself again.

Simon's green eyes have never looked so scared, tired, sad, and relieved all at once.

I slip away from my family, and out of the room. I need to....I need to...

My eyes harden and I clench my hands into tight fists.

I need to find the bastard who did this to Simon.