Shattered Pieces presents 'Embracing Sin.'
This isn't the typical alpha man saves the lost unhinged female.
No this is about me, the typical busy female nothing special.
Just me.
I do not need saving.
I control every aspect in life, career, body a...
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song; Rise up-Andra Day
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It was another normal day at the office as the aroma of coffee and iodoform mix in the air giving me the homey Scent. My home; The ER
I help the cup it joe close to my nose letting the earthy scent blocking scent of the hospital. A temporary smile appeared on emotionless expression. Just as I was about to place the porcelain coffee mug against my lips the moment of happy silence gets interrupted. "Code Blue." Rowrs in the air; a reminder that someone life is at risk. Making me slam my cup of delicious joe against the counter while my feet automatically took off running running. Clicking and clacking can be heard as I take off running in 4" heels. I know I should be wearing running shoes but sometimes old school machismo teaching of woman should hear heels take over my mind. An old school medical tradition placed by men. Grr I prefer nikes over heels. And I think today was worse day wear heels.
"I need a crash Cart in here asap!" I yell as soon as I enter the room.
The body begin to combust under the nurse who was top of the body preforming CpR.
Vomit spilled out of his mouth onto my clothes as I saw as a sign he was going to make it. But little did I know I was trying to save a boy from death when he was already gone. Hours seem to have pasted too fast as my body isn't hadn't shaken off the adrenaline rush. No more how much our bodies ache we kept going until none of us could. We didn't have a choice but to call it quits. We tried everything and anything but nothing worked. Time of death 0300 heart failure, due to overdose, Is what I wrote in young mans medical chart. Leaving the room silence filled all around us as we bow our heads with a mix of failure and pity. They say it only hurts when you lose your first body, but that's bullshit, because it all hurts the same. The reaction is only thing that changes A little inch of our heart and soul stayed with each patient that doesn't leave the hospital. A horrible place to call your final home. But we say silent prayers, each of different than others.
Times like this makes my decision to run away from the ER. Death and destruction wasn't something I wanted to grow numb to since I was already closed off as it was. But eventually you just keep telling yourself, "You did everything you could," Just so you can sleep at night. This wasn't even the worse part. The worse part is for me the doctor in the same to give the news no one wants to hear. And I will always be the easiest to blame despite his personal choices. Other thing I have become numb to. "You killed my baby." I slow take steps into family room as I tried to keep my composure.
