Embracing Sin

17

The morning was filled with ultimate bliss it was completely amazing. He was in bed in deep sleep and the sun was setting. I deicide this was the time to leave. I grab my clothes from the floor.
Stormed out went down the stairs trying not to wake him.
Guilt take over my body but I had already told, Charity Hospital I was taking the job and supposed to be there by noon on Monday for a walk through.
As I shove my items to my jag, I look back and the feeling of being incomplete took over me again. Seen him laying in his bed naked expose like my heart scatter me in pieces.
As I made a quick escape to highway I can see some roses holding on by its dear life.
Ironic that exactly how I felt, I'm barely hanging on.
I call Joy and she called Emma on three way.
"Hey girls.... I have some bad news and good news.... To be honest this is the worse way in doing this..
I apologize ... Well ladies I accepted a job in New Orleans. The bad news I start Next Monday. The Good news... I will be director to Hospital and if ya'll want to move down with me you can......"
Fuck I just made my news sound selfish. I wanted them to come with me and hoping I would get leap of excitement but all I got was silence.
"Wow," Joy said with mild sarcastic tone.
"Gia, really you couldn't tell us weeks ago, shit I knew you didn't want to be here but if you start Monday that meant you knew about this long time ago, we were your fucking best friends more like fucking sisters. You couldn't just be, 'Hey I put an application in New Orleans hospital' No you FUCKING COULDN'T. Do you know why the staff cannot stand working with you because you're fucking selfish! Has nothing to do with being demanding, NO it has to do that you're selfish you push people away and you don't care"
Emma yelled at me, this was women with a few words, and rarely shows any emotion.
Click
Fuck. She was right. I am selfish.
Even when it came to them, I drag them to slumps of nightshift Er just so I can be happy.

At least I thought they were. As I drive to New Orleans tears storm out my face for hours and I can feel my cold heart empty.
My heart was very repaired by Alek seem to be breaking into pieces.
After long nine hours of a drive, finally made to New Orleans.
Deciding to stay at the French quarter which  might not have been the best place but at least the sound of music and people can drown away my sorrows

I stood in the shower, crying like I never have before.
I heard my phone face time ringing. It was my son.
"Mom?"
"Carino, how are you."
"Great. Are you ok?"
Shit I forgot we are facing time me and pretty positive he can see my puffy eyes.
"Im fine, it was long drive to New Orleans."
My son was only one that knew I had accepted my job in Big Easy.
He was excited for me since he knew how much I loved this city.
"ok, man I was thinking coming down to visit once you get situated in your new digs."
"ok, amor. I would love for you visit. I'll let you know soon.si?
Love you."
I look at my phone and there he was calling and texting me.
I was not ready to speak to him or anyone.
I look at my email read an email I received from Richard Tyler.

Gia, I know Sunday was your last day at our hospital.
I know per personal request there wasn't a farewell gathering.
You will be truly missed. If you need anything, Please feel free to call me anytime.
-RT

I decide to get some sleep before leaving to Charity Hospital.