Hello my awesome, cool, gorgeous fans :D
I have a special treat for you today.I, jemsparkle, will now share with you a step-by-step guide for stealing a diamond.After all with the amount of stuff I've written about breaking in I guess you could call me an expert ;)
Right ,so before we start let me copy/paste this technical legal garble.
ATTENTION READER: If any of the individuals about to read this guide are found guilty of comitting felony in future according to the acts of( pfft! like I know this stuff) then the author of this guide can not/will not/shall not be held responsible in any way.This guide is merely a work of fiction and any resemblance to any real life locations,objects,living creatures is purely coincidental and unintentional,yadda yadda,etc.Basically if you get throw in prison you're SCREWED pal.You can't sue me and I'm not gonna bail you outta there,Capisce?
Now that we've got the rules straight let me thank you personally for burning those calories in your right hand and bothering to click that measley mouse button.You wasted a second of your precious life for my sake and I'm forever in your debt,Oh great one.
Blah, blah, enough ranting let get this show on the road and steal a freaking diamond people! :D Woohoo!
JEMSPARKLE'S GUIDE TO STEALING A DIAMOND:
STEP 1: GET INTELLIGENT, RELIABLE, HARDWORKING FRIENDS TO VOLUNTEER FOR THIS:
(A/N: If you're having trouble locating these extinct species like I did then any random pack of dudes/dudettes who can keep their mouths shut will do just fine.)
"Hey guys!"
"Hey Ty.What's up?"
"Nothing much just about to steal a diamond.You guys in?"
Silence.
"Does it mean I get to buy new shoes for it?" Jules said thoughtfully.
"Er,yeah sure."
"Cool! I'm in."Jules grinned.
"Me too.I don't want to watch re-runs of old shows on TV anymore."Kyle said.
"Meh.What the hell.Count me in."Sean shrugged.
(A/N:Enthusiasm,dear readers, is the key ingredient.)
STEP 2:SELECT DIAMOND:
This is a VERY very tough decision.The expensive the diamond,the higher the risk.You have to find out where it is being kept, the timings you can visit the place to memorize the security system, determine the best time to steal, not to mention how much and which type of equipment you'll need to steal it, etc.
"So which diamond are we gonna steal?"
"The Canary diamond."
"Okay."
"Why?"
"Because it's yellow.My fave color."
"Oh."
(A/N: -_- )
STEP 3: THE PLAN:
Ooh excited now? Can you feel the adrenaline rushing through your body? Good.
This is the backbone of every attempted robbery.The cooler, faster, sickest it is the better.
It is not, dear reader, in any way a "doozy."It involves careful planning, constant vigilance, assessment of risks and opponents, evaluations of your abilities, strategic moves, etc.
It could take days or even months before you come up with the perfect, fool proof plan.
"Do you have a plan?"Jules asked blowing bubble.
