I Won't Forgive Myself... (DirkJake Sadstuck)

Chapter 3

You open your eyes to be greeted with darkness. You can tell that, despite being able to open your eyes, you are still stuck in your coma. You feel your right ring finger, where your wedding ring was supposed to be. It no longer resided there, and you sink down to the floor, burying your head in your hands.

"Stop it. Please. Stop..." You say, rocking back and forth on the hard floor. You hear voices again, and don't hesitate to tune in to the conversation.

"...should be waking up any day now. It's been almost 8 months, so hopefully they will both wake up soon. Their vitals are ok, and Mr. English seems to be responding to general conversations. Mr. Strider is not, but we believe he will be better within a few months." It's the doctor again; you can tell by the sound of his voice.

"Any... Day now?" Jane asks, sounding more tired than normal.

"Janey, they'll be ok. If I know our boys, they'll keep fighting until they come out on top. Alright?" Roxy asks, and your breath catches at the sound of your friends' voices.

You need to wake up.

You concentrate on your fingers first. The last time you tried to wake up was unsuccessful, but you still somehow managed to feel your fingers. You attempt to move them, even just a flinch, but nothing works. Even the slight attempt leaves you exhausted- can you even feel exhausted while you're asleep?- and you sink back into the welcoming sleep.

You open your eyes slowly, wincing from the effort. It's dark again, but a quick glance around tells you that you aren't unconscious anymore. You let your eyes adjust to the dark, before taking in your full surroundings. All of the medical equipment keeping you alive is on your right, while two figures are to your left.

You barely recognize them at first.

Jane. Roxy.

Jane looks like she hasn't had sleep in months. Her hair is matted and messy, and her eyes have dark circles under them. She looks much thinner than you remember, yet the sight of her still brings tears to your eyes. You can hear her quiet breathing as she sleeps, curled up on a chair next to your bed.

Roxy is sleeping next to her, looking better than Jane, but still worse than you remember. Her hair is slightly longer, and she too looks as if she hasn't gotten sleep in ages. She looks thinner as well, but mostly decent. Her hair is well kept, but a glance next to her shows a bottle of alcohol on the bedside table.

You try to call out to them, but are distracted by something shoved down your throat. You glance down at yourself, already surprised at what you can see.

An IV is in your right arm, as well as many little stickers attached to wires. Your arms look thinner than normal, and it hurts to take deep breaths. A tube is shoved down your throat, most likely to help you with breathing. You have a bandage wrapped around your left arm, and you can feel one circling your head as well. A little monitor is clipped to your right thumb, but the hospital had the courtesy not to remove your promise ring to Dirk.

The heart monitor's constant beeping is starting to get on your nerves, and you try to reach over to tap Jane on the shoulder. Even that small movement hurts, and you recoil back.

Then you see Dirk.

He looks, by far, worse than you. Even though you've been in a coma for almost 8 months, he still has faint bruises on parts of his body. Even though it is dark, some are still prominent against his pale skin. There is a bandage wrapped around his head as well, and his hair sticks out in different places. You can't see much else, other than a few things stuck in his arm and several monitors around him that aren't around you. It hurts to look at him like that, and you carefully sit back in your bed.