Reflection of Fire

Part III Chapter 3

Rey soon found herself spending more of her time with Master Dameron and Finn than teaching B.B. Though she missed doing her job, it was a pleasure to find something else she could do competently. She had not received the same kind of education as Master Dameron or, to a less extent, Finn, but the knowledge she'd sought out on her own put her on similar footing. She was able to contribute to their cause, at any rate.

The sessions at Parliament did not start until four in the afternoon, and often went very late into the night. Mornings were spent teaching B.B. while Rey waited for the gentlemen to rouse. She would work with them until they left. Sometimes lessons commenced after, but sometimes not. B.B. was unused to having to work in the evenings, and, anyway, Rey was often exhausted from helping Master Dameron find the information he wanted for hours. Especially given the emotional component it had for him, and for Finn.

They told her little of what was happening at the sessions, but she could tell they weren't going well. Both were looking exhausted and, despite the progress they made in the library, not overly optimistic. She found that she cared very much if they were successful and was deeply afraid of a revolution breaking out. Or even more riots. Several buildings had been burned down and some dozen people killed as a result. She had no idea what she should do in such a situation.

B.B. was still quiet and clearly apprehensive about being sent away. That was understandable, and part of the reason Rey had taken to playing with her instead of teaching her in the evenings. It hurt her to consider how much time B.B. might be spending alone, unsure why she wasn't included with her papa and everyone in the library. Rey knew that overhearing their discussions would likely frighten her more than being part of the camaraderie would help, but that didn't mean she felt guiltless in contributing to B.B.'s isolation.

One evening, after supper, Rey took her charge to the library to select a book to read. The child's tastes were much like her own, tending toward fairy tales, and she was delighted to share the stories she used to love with B.B. Selecting a few of her favorites, Rey walked by the table where she had been working earlier and saw that a document Master Dameron had drafted was still lying there. She stared at it, uncertain. It was supposed to have gone with him. He and Finn had been working on it for days. And she was pretty sure tonight was when it was needed.

It would be easy enough to bring it to them, wouldn't it? Mr. Bacca could drive her and she could be back quickly. She couldn't just leave and pretend not to have noticed it, after all. With resolve, she headed downstairs to find Mr. Bacca and Rose. Unsurprisingly, they were in the stables, chatting.

"Good evening, Rey," Rose greeted her with a smile.

"I'm afraid I need a favor," was her too-formal response and she regretted it immediately. "I mean, hello, Rose, Mr. Bacca. Always a pleasure."

"Spit it out, Rey," Mr. Bacca told her, amused.

"I think Master Dameron forgot something important and was hoping you might take me to him. And maybe you could play with B.B.? I hate for her to be alone," she added, looking at Rose hopefully.

"Of course," Rose replied, turning to help Mr. Bacca with the horses. Relieved, Rey went to tell B.B. The girl was, of course, disappointed by the change in plans, but the promise that they would read together later tonight helped pacify her.

Soon Rey was seated beside Mr. Bacca and couldn't help but enjoy the pleasant evening air. It had been a while since she had spent any significant time outside and she found she had missed it. She tried to pay attention to where they were going, in case she should need to find her way home on her own, but got somewhat lost in the twisting streets. London was many times the size of the village where she had grown up, after all. It was hard for her to comprehend.

After a short time, Mr. Bacca drew them up to a large, stately building. "The Master will be in there somewhere. Try not to interrupt anything," he told her.

She nodded resolutely and headed inside. If she had been worried about getting lost before, the danger was far worse now. The building was labyrinthine and she quickly felt something like panic in her chest. Not that she was in any real danger, and surely she would be able to find Mr. Bacca again if she could get outside, but still. Perhaps her plan was not going to work out the way she'd hoped.

"Rey?"

A soft voice startled her and she froze. He sounded so uncertain and she could hardly bear to look at his shocked face as he stood up from the bench on which he'd been sitting.

"Ben," she whispered, fingers tightening on the document she held.

He continued to stare at her, like he didn't believe she was real. She waited, rooted to the spot.

"I... I need to find Master Dameron. To bring him this," she explained after a long moment of holding his gaze. Something flickered across his face at her master's name and she thought it might be anger – or jealousy.

"I see."

She'd had a vague hope he might help her, but that didn't appear to be the case. So clearly she should just be going. She willed herself to move, to step forward, but found that she could not. Instead, she couldn't tear her eyes away from his face, wishing she knew what he was thinking. Rose had said he was taken with her. Unlikely as that seemed, she could be right, and she tried to determine if that was true by the way he was looking at her. His expression was certainly intense, and the initial shock of seeing her seemed to be fading. What was left behind, though, she couldn't be sure.

"I hear you've been leading your people after Snoke – since Snoke's gone," she blurted, suddenly unable to endure his silent regard.

"Yes."

Biting her lip, she looked away. "I'm sorry I ran," she murmured, blinking at the unexpected urge to say so.

At that, he took a few steps closer. When she glanced at him again, he was towering over her, so close that she could have touched him if she wanted. Did she want to?

"Are you?"

"Yes."

He was studying her, the way he had before, when he'd agreed with her assessment of him as monstrous. "You are," he concluded, sounding surprised. "Why?"

Flustered, she just focused on a spot on the ground by his boot. "Why wouldn't I be?" she said at last.

"Because you chose to leave. To turn down my offer. I would have given you everything – wealth, power, influence," he whispered, frustration evident in his tone.

"I don't want any of those things!" she snapped.

His lips twitched and he stepped closer still. "I'm a monster, Rey. You said so yourself. My family must have told you the same. Why would you come to me if I had nothing else to offer?"

The harshness of his tone cooled her ire. She had hurt him, had maybe asked too much of him. "You are a monster. But not to me," she told him firmly.

That was clearly not the response he anticipated and he blinked, falling back a step, startled.

She took a deep breath, thinking of all the things she had wanted to say to him if she had the chance. This might be the only chance she had.

"Whatever your family may have thought of you, whatever Snoke made you do... You can make your own choices now, Ben. You don't have to uphold the legacy other people built for you. Nothing can stop you now except for you. And..."

She paused, aware of something like fear tinging his expression as he stared at her. Gently, she reached up to trace the scar on his face with her fingertips. A tremor ran through him at her touch.

"Ben, I don't want your legacy or your influence or anything whose weight you've suffered under. I just... want you. Maybe, if the next time we meet you understand that... Maybe I won't run away," she breathed. His eyes widened and she took a step back, shocked by her own boldness. Without another word, she turned hastily away, heart pounding.