It's been two days and we're still in Orlando. And no I haven't spoken to Nash let alone gave him a glance. Okay that's a lie. I look at him when he doesn't see but he has caught me a few times. And every time he has , his eyes were filled with pure distrust towards me. I should've told him why I had the pills but if I did there was a chance that his view of me will change and not for the better. But he's right. I should be able to tell him why I have them if I love him. And I do. I'm just not ready to break the news to him that his girlfriend is starving herself because she's not happy with her body. I don't think he would take that well. If it was vice versa I wouldn't take it well either. I honestly don't know how I'll take it.
So yeah right now I'm in the bathroom of Cameron's room. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing. The sink water is running but I'm not doing anything with it. Being here right now is pretty risky considering Nash and Cameron share a room. I share one with Hayes but when me and Nash wasn't fighting Hayes just slept in Nash's bed in this room.
I turn the nobs and turn off the water. I fix my hair real quick just out of nervousness. He might be in the room. I did here someone enter the room but I'm not sure who it was. I didn't catch a voice. It can be anybody or it can just be Cameron coming back from leaving anywhere he went while I was in the bathroom. But I doubt it. I just really hope it's not Nash. I am going to tell him why I had the pills but not yet. But soon definitely. I don't know how much longer I can go without hearing his voice and him giving me kisses on the cheek even though I don't really like it. Don't ask why. I don't like it when anybody gives me a kiss on the cheek or being touched. I'm surprised I opens up to Nash instead do hiding away like I would usually do.
Okay now I'm going to leave this small cramped bathroom and go in the room. I'm going to have to face whoever it was and just leave. Yeah that's my plan. Get out the bathroom and scurry out the room. Sounds like a good plan, right? Maybe not. Okay here I go.
"Cam I'm not going to talk to her. I don't like secrets and it's obvious she has some" I hear as I open the door a bit.
"Maybe she has a reason on why she doesn't want to tell you. Just let her tell you when she's ready. Don't force her. It'll make it worse" Cameron says. I open the door all the way and slowly step out. I look up and thankfully none of the boys have noticed me. Yet. I just have to get back to my room and hide away in there. I start walking away slowly trying not to be noticed and just to my luck as I turn around to see if I been noticed, both pairs of eyes are on me. Well I'm screwed.
"I'm just going to my room" I say quickly and turn back around. I fast walk the rest of the way to the door which isn't much considering the bathroom is pretty close to the door.
"Yeah I'll see you soon" Cam says. I nod upset knowing that I can't even have a conversation with my boyfriend. I should tell him what's been happening but I feel like if I do he'll hate me. And that is something I'm terrified of. I walk to my room upset in myself. It's only next door so I don't have much of a walk. Sliding my hotel room key in its slot someone slips inside before I even have a chance to think about it.
"We have to talk. Now"
"Yeah we do." I say as I look into his eyes.
"Well I guess I'll start. I hate lies. Totally hate them. Especially when the girl I love does it. You coul-"
"I know and I'm sorry" I plead.
"I'm not done. Believe it or not, I don't want to be with somebody like that" he says as I scrunch my eyebrows. He's about to end it, isn't he?
"What are you trying to say Nash?"
"I'm breaking up with you." He says as tears come to my eyes.
"Okay." I turn around swallowing the lump in my throat furiously. I bring my hands up to my face and rub it trying to sink everything in.
"Bye Leah" he says sadly as he walks out the door, slamming it on the way.
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Holy shit. it's been forever since I updated. Sorryy. Comment and vote! Love yaa
Xxlee
