Imperfectly perfect

Chapter 9

Assignments after assignments. It's funny thinking how we've spent most of our lives in school. Stressing. Worrying. Hours spent studying, losing sleep. Emotionally drained. Like most kids, I've always hated school and everything that came with it. The friends made along the way, the memories spent with them every summer, those were the only things that I looked forward too. Now that I'm in college, creative writing class has been a challenge. It challenges you to use your creativity and allows you to express yourself in the most open and honest way.

The bell rang and just when I was headed out the door, Mrs Lopez, our substitute for the next month, stopped me. She handed me my printed prompt and from the corner of my eyes, a big "A+" sat on the top right corner. I walked out of her and into the crowded hall, couldn't bring myself to smile. Feel.

It's been a week since Lauren and I's shared moment. A week of regret, thinking how could I have been so stupid. That day at the carnival meant more to me than she'll ever know. When I got home, Dinah and I found out something, something that I shouldn't have seen or know. I felt disgusted. Humiliated and embarrassed. The one time I truly believed that there's a possibility of their being an us, I get pulled back.

Camila, Camila wait up! I heard. The voice was familiar and knowing who it was, I kept walking, making out into the parking lot only to be be grabbed and spun around. Okay, what's up? You haven't been returning any of my calls, when I try talking to you, you either walk away or make up some excuse that you have to go. Why are you avoiding me?

" I was just a distraction to you, huh? That's all I've been since you came here. A distraction." Harsh. That's what I sounded. " I haven't been with or thought about anyone after Vanessa. Swore off everyone. Kept my heart guarded. Protected. My walls high. For a long while Lauren, I stopped believing I'd ever find true love. The true love I hear my parents constantly speak of or the true love that's portrayed always so beautifully in movies. That is, until you came and everything I ever told myself, they were gone. You made me feel something that day. Something I wanted but pushed myself away from. Or, at least tried too. I know what that day meant for you. I know who you were meant to be with and that person wasn't me."

You were never a distraction to me Camila. Never. The times that you've been there, I didn't want anyone. I didn't want to talk to anyone about my problems but you were there. Her hand toyed with her hair while she leaned against someone else's car. Yes, it was Ashley and I's four year anniversary. Yes, we never said the words that you normally say to a person when it's over. But Camila, I know what my heart wants. I know what I want. I'm-

I walked away, towards my car. It's one thing to have feelings for someone, but it's another to make someone believe in possibilities. I should of listened to Dinah. I should of fell back until I knew for sure that it was over. I should of been more smarter. I felt the wet hot tears fill up my eyes, my throat closed tight. Finally the tears spilt over and flowed down my face like a river excaping a dam. I reached for the handle of my car, my hands shaking. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and as I turned around, she stood in front me...

You are so much more than what you may think and I can prove it if you let me take you out to dinner. I hesitated but nodded my head as I wiped my tears. I'll pick you up seven and I promise I'll answer whatever questions you may have. Deal?

I looked into her eyes, her beautiful, piercing green eyes and said, " deal."

I stepped into my car, starting it up while I slowly backed away. I could feel my heart beating, every pound in my chest. Not through my ears, that was occupied by the sound of a soft, angelic, soulful voice on the radio. This great pounding, this great pressure; every beat, I could feel it.

It remains even as I drive. It remained while I changed the station. It remained even as I stumbled into my apartment, almost tripping over a pair of black heels. It remained even as I walked into the kitchen, standing there staring at the tall brunette. Before either one of us could say anything, her arms were wrapped around me, my arms around her waist., my head rested on her chest.

Several minutes passed, we sat at the table, silence.

You know, if there's one thing in this world that I hate is watching my best friend cry. She said as she poured me a glass of water. What happened.

" This was what I was afraid of. This was the reason I made promises to myself but that didn't work. That didn't stop me from falling for someone. That didn't stop me from getting close to someone, again."

What made her different? What made you tell yourself, okay, this was the girl I'll break my promises for.

I half smiled, reflecting back to that first day, " have you ever met someone and knew right from the start, whatever happens, won't last long? Wether it was a friendship or a relationship?" She nodded her head, and I continued, " it as wasn't like that with Lauren. In the ten minutes of us meeting, she opened up a little to me about her father. All of the times our minds told us to shut up, we never did. We just... kept going and going."

Vanessa was everything could possibly want. She was perfect. Literally- fair skin, long silky dark hair, petite but curvy. She was your typical girl that would be shown everywhere. Magazines. Commercials. Runways. Her exterior beauty wasn't what I was attracted too. Underneath it all, she was your normal, regular girl. A girl who had her insecurities. A girl who suffered with OCD. A girl who slept with nightlights and was scared of the dark. All of her scars and imperfections, covered with makeup. Shown only to those most closest to her.

Then, there's Lauren. The green eyed Cuban. Guarded. Misunderstood. Protective over herself and her heart. Cautious of who she lets in. What you saw on the exterior, was who she was but wasn't the only things about her. Soft spoken. There are no words that describe how beautiful her mind was. Her beauty wasn't covered. It wasn't hidden. Nor were her flaws and imperfections. And that was okay. She was okay with the things that she couldn't change. She was okay with who she was and never tried to impress or pretend to be someone other than herself.

The difference between them was, being with Vanessa was like being with two different person. When she's with me, she was always her true self but when we were with her friends, family, she was someone else. Openly judged anyone that passed by. Cared more about what other people thought than herself. With Lauren, she remains herself regardless of who she's with. Her heart was big and pure.

What does Camila want? You have wanted this for as long as the month flew by. What's stopping you from going after what you've always wanted.

" Her ex." I said honestly, tears begun to blur my vision. " What if I hadn't found out. I don't want to be someone who can distract her from the truth or the things she runs away from. I don't want to be someone who gets played, Dinah."

I get it, you felt something but mila, why would she tell you? Hear me out, even if she knew what that day was for her, they're not together anymore. The same way you thought the carnival was a distraction, it wasn't about her ex. I looked at her, confusion plastered on my face. It was about you. She wanted you to forget about that morning. I could be wrong here but please don't fight this. She spent that day with you! Her ex wasn't on her mind when she kissed you, was she?

She placed her arm over my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. Why do I feel this way? I don't want to be reminded of someone every time I'm with her. Someone loved her harder than I or anyone could. Someone that knew her inside and out. Someone that can read her like the palm of their hand.

I dried my cheeks and sighed. " She's taking me to dinner later."

The only thing that I can tell you is to follow your heart and listen to your head. The more important thing is that they're in sync. Whatever decision you decide to make, be sure it's the right one. I stared at the clock and sighed louder. Would you like me to make you a grilled cheese?

" Yes please." I watched as she grabbed a pan and my curiosity peaked. " How did you get in?"

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P.S: Chapters revolving around Camila and Lauren's feelings will be longer.

💜-how you loving Dinah in this story?