A Sanders Story (One Shots)

A Million Dreams

Prompt: Virgil anxiety attack (unaesthetic_artist [Instagram])

Disclaimer: I have never been through an anxiety attack, so I have no clue how to write one. I tried to keep it fairly vague as I don't want to mess it up.

(The end of the Am I Original video)

Anxiety's POV

"Thanks, everyone," Roman said. "Well, almost everyone." He glanced at me as he said it.

I didn't hear what anyone else said after that, I just sank out and immediately ran to my room.

No one wants me there.

There had been so many negative words thrown at me.

Defeatist.

So many things that showed they were better off without me.

Jerk.

Sure, I'd had Logan on my side at first, but by the end of the argument I was alone. Just like always.

No one cares about you. They all just wish you'd go away.

My breath caught in my throat and I started to sob. I didn't remember sitting down but soon I found myself rocking back and forth on the floor.

I would've been okay if it wasn't for Roman. It was always Roman.

Why do I care what he thinks?

His insults swirled in my mind. Even the most childish and ridiculous names upset me.

Surly Temple.

Brad Pitiful.

Jack Smellington.

Is that really all he thinks of me?

(Ik not all these nicknames came before Am I Original but let's just pretend they do)

Creepy cookie.

Gloomy goober.

Incredible Sulk.

They really believe all I do is mope around. They don't think I contribute anything. And they're right.

I started hyperventilating. Why was I still there? Why don't I just leave? Wouldn't it make everyone happier?

"Anxiety?"

Roman was knocking on my door. No. Not now.

"Give me a few minutes!"

"...Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, my voice breaking.

"No, you're not. You seemed really upset, Patton said I should check on you."

"Yes, I am! Go away!"

"I'm coming in."

I didn't argue.

When Roman saw me shaking on the floor, his face clouded with concern.

"What's wrong?"

I didn't say anything.

"Anxiety..."

"It's not like you care."

"Of course I care."

"You're only here because Patton made you come."

Roman hesitated. I knew it.

"While I wouldn't have thought to check on you, I still want to know what's wrong."

"None of you care! That's the problem! All of you want me gone, and you guys are right. I should just leave." I burst into tears after saying this, my eyeshadow trailing down my face in black streaks.

"Anxiety... That's not true."

"Ye... Yes it is."

"No. It's not. You... you make us better. You're what keeps Thomas productive. We need you."

I still wasn't calm. Even though his words were soothing, I couldn't bring my breathing back to a normal pace.

"How about we watch some movies?" Roman suggested. I nodded.

Next thing I knew, I was curled up on the couch held in Roman's arms, watching Cinderella.

Once Cinderella was over, we put on The Greatest Showman. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but we ended up dancing during the one of the songs.

'Cause every night I lie in bed...

I was in Roman's arms, swaying around the room.

The brightest colors fill my head...

He was protecting me. I was safe.

A million dreams are keeping me awake...

I buried my face in his shoulder, savoring the moment.

I think of what the world could be, a vision of the one I see...

I heard him chuckle and looked up at him.

A million dreams is all it's gonna take...

He was smiling. At me.

A million dreams for the world we're gonna make...

As we stood, our faces inches away from each other, Roman stumbled... and our lips connected.

He immediately pulled away. "Oh my gosh, Anxiety, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

I smiled. "My name's Virgil."

And I kissed him.