[Justin]
She seems nice.
And she's very pretty.
But she's a therapist.
And I hate therapists.
And hate is a strong word.
Everybody says I'm crazy.
I'm not.
They treat me like I'm a freak.
And that makes me...
I don't know.
I'm tired of feeling.
I don't want to feel anymore.
I don't want to be here anymore.
I just want to die.
No one wants me.
No one cares.
Not even my own mom.
I'm tired of crying.
My stomach hurts of the constant throwing up.
I just want to die.
[Cassie]
As I worked in the kitchen, I watched Justin. I turned the tv on but he didn't watch it. He just stared into space, his eyes glossed over. I don't know what he was staring at but, the look in his eyes made me so sad.
I fixed him a sandwich which I was going to attempt to feed him. I walked into the living room and sat beside him.
"Can you eat for me?" I ask sweetly.
His face changed from sad to fearful. He swallowed hard, licking his lips as he tugged on his shirt.
"Justin... You need to eat."
"I-I'm n-not hungry." He mumbles.
"Why?" I ask.
"B-because I'm not." He sasses.
Oh. Smart mouth. Something to consider.
I sigh deeply place the plate on the table. "Justin... Why do you hate me?"
His eyes widen. "I-I d-don't h-hate y-you."
"You don't?" I ask.
"N-no. I-I hate t-therapists."
"Well... I'm a therapist."
"I-I thought you were my friend?" He asks.
"I am."
"T-Then w-why a-are you m-making me do s-something I-I don't want to d-do?"
I bite my lip. "Because as your friend, I care enough to help you."
"You b-barely k-know me."
"That's because you won't talk to me."
"I-I... I-I d-don't know what to s-say." He stammers.
"Well for starters I'd like to see your eyes." I say reaching for his chin, but he winces moving away from me.
"Justin... I want to help you. I want you to get better. Don't you want to get better?"
"N-no."
My heart clenches. "no? Why?"
"N-no one cares about me. If I die, no one would care." He sniffles.
"I-I would."
He scoffs. "B-bullshit."
"J-Justin..."
"L-look... I don't know why you're doing this. You don't know shit about me. You don't know what I've been through and you don't know why I'm like this. So save yourself the trouble of trying to fix me. Okay? I'm broken. And I can't be fixed."
He was angry. That's normal with his condition.
I was so close to tears about now. I needed him to open up to me. So I have to open up to him.
"I was nine when my mom died of lung cancer. My dad took care of me and my sister until he passed away himself. My boyfriend of two years... R-raped me everyday and every night. I got pregnant and he... He raped me and I lost the baby. All this happened while I was in school and it was very hard for me. I was just like you. I didn't want to live. I wanted to die everyday and I tried everything to get the job done, but nothing worked. But... Thanks to family friend and god... I made it through. And I'm still here."
Tears fall down his cheeks as he stares at the table.
"Justin... I don't know what happened to you. But I want to help you. Okay? Just let me."
He sighs deeply, wiping his face with his shaky hand.
"H-her name was Avalanna... S-she had a rare type of cancer. And I visited her everyday. I knew one day... S-she'd leave me. B-but I didn't think it'd be so soon. I was suppose to visit her, but I had to work. S-so I c-called her mom and said I'd be by later. I got off early and headed over, and when I got there..."
He pauses, covering his face with his arm, wiping the tears away.
"W-when I-I g-got there... S-she was nearly gone... I-I watched h-her d-die." He breaks down and I scoot closer to him, rubbing his back.
"It wasn't your fault sweetie." I say.
"I-I should've been there. I-I s-should've..."
"It doesn't matter if you were there earlier or not. Her body was tired. It was time for her to go."
He hiccups wiping his face. "I could've saved her. My love could've saved her."
"Justin... You can't blame yourself for her death, okay? She's in a better place now. She's watching over you. She loves you. And I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want you to be like this."
He nods, sniffling. "S-she was the light of my world. I cared for her so much."
"And I'm sure she cares for you too." I say.
He sighs deeply, letting everything out.
"Feel better?" I ask.
"A-a little." He says.
"Good. Now... Can you at least bite a piece of the sandwich? I worked so hard on this." I say hopeful.
He chuckles a little, which made me smile. He waits a few seconds before taking the plate. He grabs the sandwich and takes a small bite. He chews it slowly, trying his hardest not to throw up.
"That's it sweetie. Now swallow." I say watching him as his closes his eyes and forces himself to swallow. Soon the sandwich was gone and he was supposedly full.
"Soo... How was it?" I ask.
"I-it w-was g-good." He smiles.
"Great!" I say in an excited tone, which causes him to giggle.
We sit and watch tv and soon I noticed Justin's eyes getting droopy. Suddenly he lays down slowly onto my lap, falling asleep. I smile warmly.
We're making progress...
(A/n: I cried writing this... I'm so sorry you guys. Comment for more.)
