Some Scars Don't Heal

Eight - A Light At The End Of The Tunnel? Perhaps Not.

I wandered along the road, my mind racing. What should I do? I didn't know if Danny was watching me right now, or if he hadn't seen me yet. Suddenly, all my energy went out of me and I slumped down behind a wall, where Danny couldn't see me. I covered my face with my hands, trying to hide the tears that were racking through my body. My mind jumped to the razor Danny kept in his dresser, the one he used for shaving, the one he used to cut me when I was "misbehaving". Was my life really worth living, I pondered, or was I just a tool in God's great game to make everyone better? I don't know what I've done wrong, what I had done to make God hate me. What I had done to make Danny hate me.

I dragged my fingers through my hair and reached up to the sky.

"Please," I whispered, "Help me God. Tell me what I've done wrong." I dropped my arms and leant forward, letting my hair fall over my face. I sat there, sobbing, letting out all my anger, when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Hey," I looked up to see the tanned face of a boy about my age, who was looking down at me with concerned eyes, "You okay?"

"Not really." I mumbled, dragging my eyes back to the floor, but I felt someone slide down the wall next to me.

"Rough day huh?" he asked.

"No rougher than usual." I replied, and glanced properly sideways. My heart lurched. This boy was good looking. Seriously good looking. He had deep green eyes, ruffled black hair, and pearly white even teeth.

"My name's Alex." he said, holding out his hand for me to shake.

"Becky," I replied, clasping hands with him, "How come I haven't seen you around before?"

"I've just moved here from Somerset. It was a whole lot better than this dump." Alex glanced around scathingly.

"Somerset! Wow. I wish I could live there." I gasped.

"I'll take you there someday." Alex offered, grinning.

"I'd like that." I smiled, looking deep into his emerald green eyes. He stood up, holding out a hand. I took it, rising to my feet.

"So, Becky, will you allow me the honour of walking you home?" he asked.

I bit my lip. I would love this gorgeous boy to walk me home, and he seemed pretty friendly. But, if Danny had seen me with him, Lord knows what he would do to Alex.

"I...I'm sorry, but I don't think I can." I stuttered, fearing he would get the wrong impression.

"No worries. Another time, eh?" Alex flashed his teeth in a wide smile, and jumped off the wall. By the time I had climbed onto the wall, looking to see where Alex had gone, he had disappeared into the horizon. I put my hands over my eyes squinting to discern Alex in the yards behind the brick houses. I finally saw him, a figure in a blue beanie hat. As I stood and gazed at him for a moment, he turned around and waved at me. I hopped off the wall, my heart racing.

I was ambling home, my mind and heart full of Alex's smile, when suddenly a hand was clapped over my mouth. Before I had time to scream, I was dragged behind a hedge. There I looked fearfully up at Danny's crimson face, the veins in his eyes pulsing. My mind immediately jumped to Alex. Deny it Becky, I told myself, deny you were ever with him.

"Why were you walking away from our house Becky?" Danny hissed.

"I was going to walk home and see if Mum and Dad were back!" I defended myself.

"You know your parents are back next week!" Danny glared at me and then brought his hand sharply across my face. I cried out in pain.

"Shut it Becky." Danny snapped.

"I'm sorry Danny," I whimpered. I rubbed my hand gingerly on the spot where Danny slapped me. It tingled under my touch.

"I want you to come home with me Becky." Danny grabbed my hand and pulled me up, entwining my fingers with his roughly. He dragged me down the street, meeting the eyes of people we met with a ferocious scowl. One middle aged woman with a buttoned up blouse and a buttoned up expression to match. Her hair was pulled tightly back into a professional bun, her eyes stretched too tightly over her skin, her mouth mashed into a thin line.

"Are you all right pet?" She put her hand on my shoulder, making me jump as I turned around.

"She's fine." Danny put his arm around my waist and squeezed me tightly to his side. I nodded with frightened eyes.

"I believe she can speak for herself." The woman replied frostily, and turned back to me.

"Is this man treating you well?" she whispered. Danny gritted his teeth and waited for me to answer. I glanced up at him, and he raised his eyebrows, daring me to tell the truth.

"No." I murmured, "No, everything is fine." The woman looked doubtful, but didn't press it. Danny yanked me toward the door of his house. I pulled back a little, but then let him drag me inside, though my instincts were screamiing at me to run far, far away.