Some Scars Don't Heal

Fourteen - Hello Again.

After the last word escaped my mouth, I took a deep breath. Mum was right, it did help to have talked about it, but I wasn't going to tell her that. I twisted my hands in my lap, and felt the warm weight of Maria's arm across my shoulder.

"Oh baby," she murmured, her honey sweet breath fanning across my cheek, "It's okay. I will help you get through this." I dragged my hand across my eyes, stopping telltale tears in their tracks. Maria noticed however, and pulled a white kerchief from her apron pocket. I grabbed it gratefully. Maria's arm suddenly withdrew from around my shoulders, and I glanced up to see her taking her coat off the hanger.

"Where are we going?" I used the plural because it seemed fairly unrealistic that she would leave me here on my own. Maria turned to me and smiled.

"I'm taking you to my care home." I stood up and started backing away.

"Why?" I asked warily.

"Because there are a few kids in there who have experienced about the same level of horror as you have, and I would like you to meet them. It would give you a chance to let this terrible experience completely leave you." Maria beamed again, showing rows of sparkling white teeth. I usually avoided all kinds of care homes like the plague, because Danny had threatened me if I some much as went near one, he would give me a beating I would never forget. But as Maria's words sunk in, it suddenly dawned on me that I should leave Danny and his demands behind me. He wasn't a part of my life anymore.

"Okay." I grabbed my jacket, my new sense of resolve clear in my voice. Maria grinned again, threaded her arm through mine and dragged me through the front door, twisting the key in the lock behind her. It made a satisfied click, and Maria pulled me towards a battered old silver Volvo parked in the driveway. She gestured for me to get in the passenger side, and I clambered in, folding my long legs awkwardly under the seat. My new determination was abruptly fading, and like the coward I was, I was thinking of just jumping out of the car and running away. But then Maria climbed in next to me, and I knew that she knew what was best for me, so I decided to trust her. The engine started with a bang like a gunshot, and I sat back in the dog eared leather seat and gritted my teeth. I was going to get through this.

"Well, here we are." Maria pulled up next to a red brick building, with a green front door and smoke billowing from the chimney. The very sight of it seemed to assure me I was welcome. I opened the door and squeezed out. Maria was out of the car before me, and had locked the door and was marching up to the front step. I quickly trotted after her. She let herself in, and immediately two squealing boys threw themselves at Maria. They looked about six, and were obviously twins, judging by their matching ginger hair, freckles and big grins. Maria laughed, and squeezed their cheeks, while they squirmed in delight.

"Jenson, Benny, this is Becky. She's my visitor for the day."

Jenson and Benny both waved and chorused, "Hi Becky," before plunging their thumbs into their mouths and running off. Maria looked after them fondly, before muttering to me,

"Parents are on drugs. Their mother came to me the week after their fourth birthday, and complained that they were coughing. Poor things had obviously caught something from the cannabis she was smoking." Maria shook her head, and then carried on up the hallway. She went into a room literally covered in sofas, a big flat screen TV in the centre, and the floor space you could see was plastered in purple carpet. I wriggled my toes in it surreptitiously. Two teenagers were slumped on the squashy crimson sofas, a boy and a girl. The girl had her legs stretched out on a pouffe, and was flexing her newly painted toes. The boy had his arm casually draped over the girl's shoulders, and all I could see of him was a mess of black hair and a caramel coloured neck. I pursed my lips quizzically.  That neck looked very familiar.

"Alex, Esme, this is Becky." Maria introduced us. Alex swivelled around immediately, and stared at me in surprise. I bit my lip, remembering the circumstances in which we met. The girl, Esme, got up and grinned at me.

"Hey!" she greeted me. I smiled shyly in response, and then glanced at Alex again. He was staring at me, dumbfounded. Esme nudged him.

"Alex, where are your manners?"

I looked into Alex's eyes and a jolt shot through me. I had forgotten - what with the trauma of the night after we met - what a precise shade of emerald his eyes were. He was really, very fit. But then as I glanced to Esme, my heart sunk. She was gorgeous, with honey brown hair cut to her chin, and big, big blue eyes. Although she was only wearing a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms and a white tank top that had "Take my advice, I don't use it anyway," on it, they clung to her curvy figure. She had to be his girlfriend, the way he had his arm draped around her, and my heart plummeted down to my ugg boots.

"Sorry," Alex flashed me a grin that made my stomach flip over.

"Enough socialising." Maria put a hand on my shoulder, and turned me towards her,

"Becky, there is someone I want you to meet." She took my hand and pulled me out of the living room. I looked back, and Esme had flopped back down on the sofa and flicked the TV back on, but Alex was still stood there, staring at the door where I had vanished. I stifled a giggle as Maria pulled me up the stairs to a white door that had a sign on it saying, "Go away, I'm busy." I looked at it, slightly worried.

"Don't worry, that sign is always there." Maria reassured me. She raised her hand and banged on the door.

"Wendy? Wendy, I've got someone here to see you. Can we come in?"