Some Scars Don't Heal

One - I've Been Here Before, But It Never Gets Easier

Cover by @mobleez. Check out her stories, they are really good! Thanks again for the cover Mo, it's really good!

"I had a great time tonight Becky!" Holly gushed as we exited the club. I turned around to look at it one more time. The bright lights flashed, hurting my eyes, and the heavy beat of the bass music shook the ground.

"Me too!" I agreed, "We should do this again sometime. It was good to have some girl time." I couldn't remember the last time I had actually spent some time with Holly alone. We had been best friends since we were in Year 4, where I threw my pencilcase at her and she retaliated by emptying her water bottle over my head. We bonded later though, in the sandpit, and we had been inseparable ever since. I had received several calls from her, asking if I wanted to go to the cinema with her, a cafe, a club. I turned her down, every time.

"I know! I swear, next time you cancel on me, I'm calling the cops!" Holly laughed, and I tried to laugh along with her. Fear curled in my stomach, but I ignored it. If Holly knew why I did cancel on her, she would be calling the police. I would to...if I had the guts.

"Well, I guess I've got to go home..." Holly bit her lip. "Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?"

"No, no!" I said quickly, "I'm fine!" Holly shot me a suspicious glance, shrugged, gave me a hug and walked off towards her car. I breathed a sigh of relief. I looked down my body. I was wearing a red mini dress with white Converse pumps. I got a funny look at the club from most of the girls because I wasn't wearing heels, but whatever. I wasn't out to impress them. I quickly pulled out my hairbrush and pulled it through my hair, so I looked exactly the same as I did when Holly had pulled up outside my house at half eight. I reapplied my lipstick and then set off home. Home. I shuddered at the word. Never, ever, could I think of that place as my home.

Turning around, I saw Holly tottering on her high heels, pulling her silver keys from her handbag. The keys glinted in the moonlight, and I had a sudden, but urgent desire to run after her, beg for a lift back, but I didn't. I drew myself up to my full height. "You are not a coward," I reminded myself. I took a deep breath to calm my heart, that was thudding against my chest, and then set off.

I set off anyway. One of my laces came undone, and I knelt down to tie it, deliberately taking longer than I needed to, just to postpone getting up again. I heard a couple of wolf whistles, and, my lace being done, I twisted around. I saw a couple of lads raising their eyebrows at me, and coming closer. My heart beat an unsteady rhythm as I backed away against a shop front. The sickening sense of deja vu welled over me, and I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Y'all right darlin'?" The taller one leered.

"That's no concern of yours." I replied haughtily.

"Awh, come on baby!" They both took another step towards me, and I turned and walked away, though my mind was reeling. I heard them whining as I quickened my step.

As I reached the end of the street, I took a hairpin turn to the right, going along Hope Street. I leant against the wall of the newsagent, letting my heartbeat slow. It wasn't the first time I'd been approached by men, but I still felt a little sick whenever their eyes rolled up and down my body. Experience had taught me that no one could be trusted. Especially not a man. I shook my head, and then I strode down the road, towards the blue door. I took a deep breath, and then opened it.