Drown

Chapter 19

I woke up with a throbbing headache.  That's what I deserved for drinking so much.  I could remember what happened, but not all of it.  I remembered calling Greyson a slut.  I remembered him spraying me with water to shut me up.  I remembered fighting.

For a minute I didn't realize that Greyson was in the bed with me.  I guess it was because I just expected him not to be.   Even after everything I said to him, he still slept next to me.  I definitely didn't deserve that. 

He wasn't far from me either.  His body was pressed against mine just as it always was.  His head rested on my shoulder and one arm was draped across my chest; his fingers lightly hanging onto my cheek.  I turned my head to face him.  The skin around his eyes was slightly swollen and a rosy red color.  I hated myself for making him cry.

I sat up slowly, trying not to wake him.  He shifted his body a little, but didn't open his eyes.  I pulled the blanket off of him carefully.  Then I picked up one of his arms.  The scars from months ago were pretty faded, and I didn't see anything new.  I lifted the waistband of his sweatpants so I could check his legs.  And I looked under his shirt to check his hips and his stomach.  Luckily, there was nothing concerning.  He'd made it through by himself this time.

New marks weren't all I was thinking about while I was checking his skin.  I looked at his chest and his eyelashes,  his wrists and his fingers; hoping with all I had that I was the only one who would ever again get to love them.  I was an asshole who didn't deserve him.  But I knew that a piece of me would die if I ever had to let him go.

I must have zoned out or dozed off, because the next thing I new Greyson was talking.

"Are you sober enough to think now?" he asked, rubbing his tired eyes.

I looked over at him.  He was now sat up next to me.

"Greyson, I'm sorry." I said quietly, not knowing how to start.

"Do you really think I would cheat on you?"

"I like to think you wouldn't." I shrugged.

"Well you think right.  I would never forgive myself, Luca.  Especially if it was with Jay.  He looks like a toe." he said, trying to make me smile.

"I didn't even see what he looked like."

"But you said you saw us together."

"I wasn't paying attention to his face." I groaned. "Just, how he was touching you."

"I was still upset when I came into work.  He was trying to make me feel better.  He thought he was being helpful by pretending to flirt with me."

"And you didn't tell him you already had someone for that?" I asked.

"He already knew I had you.  He was just trying to be funny."

"Terrible joke." I huffed.

"Luca, you should have come in and said something if it bothered you so much!"

"You should've made him stop!" I snapped.  "How would you feel if you were in my place?  I was coming down so I could be sweet and walk home with you.  But instead, I got to watch through a window while some other guy sucked on your fucking neck and put his hands all over you! Joking or not, how scared would you be if you saw that happening to me?"

He looked down to his lap and let out a deep breath.

"I see your point.  I'm sorry." he said, "But I swear, Luca, that was the only time anything like that has happened.  I can't even think about being with anyone but you."

He grabbed his phone from the bed side table.

"Who are you calling?" I asked as he brought the phone to his ear.

"Jay."

"What for?"

"He's going to confirm everything.  I can't risk you not trusting me."

I was about to make him hang up, but I guess Jay answered the phone.

"Hey," Greyson began, then paused to let Jay talk, "How was I supposed to know you were sleeping?... No, actually, this can't wait... I need you to tell my boyfriend that there isn't anything going on with us...Yes, that's what he thought and I don't really blame him... Okay...Okay, here." he handed me the phone and I reluctantly took it.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Hey, dude, I'm sorry for whatever you thought.  I was just trying to cheer him up, you know?  Besides,  I'm straight.  You don't need to worry about me."

"Okay.  Just remember that if I ever see that happening again, I know what it feels like to be repeatedly stabbed.   It hurts like hell.  And I am not afraid of inflicting that kind of pain on someone else."

"Dude, are you psychotic?"

"No, just very, very, in love."

I handed Greyson his phone back and saw him smiling.  He hung up without saying anything else to Jay. 

"Are you serious about stabbing him?" he asked.

"Grey, if you'd really slept with him he and I would both be dead by now."

He laughed a little, then stopped suddenly.  He sat there staring at me and smiling.  He leaned over again and set his phone back on the bed side table.  When he came back, I saw that he had his ring on.  He grabbed my hand and pushed mine onto my finger.  He then jumped on top of me and pushed my head back onto my pillow, pressing his nose against mine and scrunching his face up.

"Can we just go to Vegas?"  He asked after a second.

"You mean to get married?" 

"Yeah.  I don't want to wait.  I want you now."

"You have me now."

"You now what I mean."  he sighed.

"Does Nevada allow gay marriages?" I asked.

He thought for a second, then moved so his chin was propped up on my nose.  It was a weird position, but I didn't mind.  I was used to Greyson using me as a jungle gym.

"Nope." he replied to my question.

"But Illinois does.  So at least we won't have to go far."  

It surprised me that we were now on such a different subject.  Moments ago Greyson was explaining that he hadn't cheated on me.  Now we were dicussing where to get married.

"When did you decide to give the ring back?"  I asked him.

He rolled off of me and picked up my hand.

"Yesterday when you were ignoring me."  he said, spinning my ring around my finger.

"Why?"

"Because you said to give it back when I thought I deserved you.  So I decided that if you were enough of a bitch to ignore me and not explain it, I must have done something pretty bitchy too. Bitches like us deserve each other."

"Forever?"  I asked.  

He dropped my hand and sat up to kiss me on the cheek, then snuggled back into my side.  

"Forever."