another love || z.m.

Payton

I couldn't hear very well. I couldn't see very well. I couldn't speak very well. But I could smell. And what I smelled was vomit.

I scrunched my nose up in disgust and opened my eyes to look around for the source of the smell. I spotted it straight away; it was me. I had thrown up on myself.

"Ew," I mumbled, climbing out of bed and into the bathroom. I tried to suck in my body so that my large tee wouldn't touch my body.

I turned the shower on and stripped myself of his tee that had puke on it. I threw it in the trash can. I jumped in the shower and let the hot water burn my skin. It took my mind off of the burning hole in my heart. The hole that he had left in my heart. The one that felt as if it was on fire every moment of every day.

I thought that after ten months, he would've been forgotten, but now as I stand here in the shower, growing exceptionally ill, I cannot take my mind off of him.

I thought that if he had come back, which he did, I could forgive him. But when he showed his face in my room that Saturday morning, I knew it had to be over.

"Payton! I'm back!" Lena yelled, slamming the door behind her. I heard her ascend the steps, obliviously not noticing the extra pair trailing behind her.

"In here!" I croaked. I heard her whisper something, but just thought myself crazy until he walked in behind her.

He gave me a smile wave and a tight smile. I sat up in bed, fuming. I threw my spoon at him and it hit him in the forehead.

"Ow!"

"Payton!" Lena scolded.

"He deserves it." I shrugged, digging my fingers into the cookie dough and focusing on the television where Frozen was playing.

"She's right, I do." I had yet to look him in the eye, fretting I would collapse and run back to him.

He came over and sat at the end of my bed. "Are you-"

"It's always the same medication, don't flatter yourself," I replied.

"Oh," he pouted.

"I'd very much like if you would get it out of here," I said to Lena, referring to Zayn.

"Payton." Lena scolded.

"What?" I smirked.

This is what he had done to me. He had turned me into some kind of heartless monster that had no filter. I didn't care about anything.

"Payton?" Zayn spoke. I resisted the urge to look at him.

"Payton, please, look at me." He pleaded.

"Payton! Look at the goddamn boy, will you?" Lena screeched.

I flinched and turned my head to look at Zayn. He had prominent bags under his eyes and his hair was strewn over the place. I was actually a bit satisfied to see he was suffering also.

"You look like you haven't slept, loverboy," I joked.

"I haven't," he admitted.

"Well, that's not good for your health," I bit.

"Fuck, Payton! Will you please stop this horrible act?" He exclaimed, tugging at his little hairs.

"I can't! this is the only way to ensure that I won't get hurt again! This is the only way to protect myself!"

"I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Well you sure as hell aren't going to love me," I snapped.

"Wait, what?" Lena butted in. "That's why you guys broke up? Because he doesn't and can't love you?" Obviously I hadn't been in the best shape to tell Lena what had happened when she came over last night.

Zayn and I nodded.

"Well, hell, here I was, partially on Zayn's side. I even took him to see Cass-" she trailed off as I started to glare at Zayn.

"You did what?" I spoke through gritted teeth. I had stood up from the bed, flicking the covers way off the bed.

Zayn stared at me, speechless. Lena spoke for him.

"I took him to see Cassie in jail."

"Why, why- why would you do that?" I stuttered.

"Well, he said something about Cassie being the problem, so I figured she had done something wrong. I took him to go talk to her, but apparently he found closure. He jumped in the car and told me to bring you here," she blurted.

"Can both of you please just get out of my house?" I asked, pressing my fingers to my temples. "My head is pounding from all of the yelling. I can't take it anymore. Zayn, we are done. If you can't give me a future, there's no point in going on."

"But Payton, that's why I'm here, I-"

"Just please, leave," I sighed, crawling back into bed.

"We'll be back later, Pay," Lena called.

"Don't bring him back here," I croaked. I started crying again, covering my face with the comforter.

Lena whispered something unintelligible to him before they descended the stairs and slammed the door behind them.

I turned the water off and climbed out off the shower. I briefly towel dried my hair before walking into my bedroom. I pulled one of my dad's old shirts over my head.

"Payton?" Lena called. She knew where to find me so I didn't waste my little energy on answering her.

She soon appeared in the doorway of my bedroom, holding a box of pizza and a bottle of coke.

"I brought the party," she cheered silently, waving the food around.

"I'm not hungry," I lied. My stomach had been killing me but I hadn't wanted to eat anymore.

"You are going to eat." Lena had been watching me get thinner ever since we had moved in together. As soon as school was out, we bought an apartment and moved in immediately. I was wasting away in front of her. The only time I would eat was when she made me, leaving me to gag myself after she went to sleep.

"Fine." But I'm not keeping it down.

PLEASE DO NOT DO WHAT PAYTON IS DOING. THAT IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS AND SHE IS STUPID.

Dedication: @BelWatson because she is coMING BACK AND I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO GO OVER THERE AND SUPPORT HER AND BE THERE FOR HER BECAUSE SHES SUCH A SWEETHEART

Next chapter will be the last. Vote and comment bae