Teach Me To Live (OUAT//Peter Pan)

Chapter thirteen

The next morning I headed to the fire pit, where an orange flame crackled against the cold air. Erik was sitting on a log around the fire and imediatly commented on my state of being.

"What happened to you? Seriously, are you okay?" 

I had a dark bruise spreading across my left cheek, my arm was wrapped in an attempt to avoid infection, and I was forced to walk in a slight limp. Needless to say, the damn mermaids seriously messed me up.

"Yeah, I uh... it's a long story." 

"Well "long story" doesn't exactly give an explanation for half your face being swollen as a balloon. Did one of the boys do this to you? I swear to God I'll kill them-"

"No...no! I just- I just went for a walk last night and I was going along the rock hill and I lost my footing. Okay?" Erik looked at me for a moment eyebrows raised, 

"That's bullshit. But okay." 

I'm glad Erik dropped the subject because I seriously did not feel like explaining almost getting eaten by a bunch of mermaids. Only to be saved by...

Pete-    Pan.

The events of last night keep running through my mind like a broken record player. I've avoided Pan all day. It's kind of hard to avoid him though when he's in charge of the lost boys, something I am now a part of.  I still haven't made up my mind, weather or not I wanted Pan to train me... if I wanted him to show me my "magic". I still don't know if I believe him, me? Magic?

I don't think so.

But what he said, about magic being the reason I never fit in, It almost makes sense in a sad sort of way. I never had anyone I clicked with, no one I felt natural with. It was always me watching how people interacted than trying to follow along in a game of copycat. Pan, however... he's different. When I'm with him I don't feel out of place for some reason.

My own thoughts are scaring me...

"You still alive?" I look over at Erik as he stares at me while chewing on a piece of fruit. I realize I've been staring off.

"I am... but you won't be if you don't share some of that with me." Erik chuckles and hands me a few pieces of fruit. 

Me and Erik sit there for about an hour chatting. We talk about pointless stuff, mindless conversation. Then, Erik's face turns a bit more serious and he looks to me.

"Alessia, what was you life like before Neverland?"

I turn to him and pause for a moment, mulling over possible responses. "Forgettable" is all I say. Erik looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I take a deep breath and continue, "I was in highschool when I was taken. I was an alright student, I'm not stupid by any means but I definitely wasn't a fan of what we learned in school. It all just seemed so damn pointless. Life seemed pointless... I had good parents, loving ones. They probably think I ran away... I had a best friend, her name was Alice. We were polar opposites but somehow it worked out. She was always better at being social than me, she knew what to say and how to say it. She was better at being likable. " I let out a sad chuckle, "She was basically better at everything than me. Sporty, artistic, smart, popular, pretty...I always felt inferior." I pause realizing I've revealed a lot to Erik, and decide to change the subject. "What about you? What was your life like before Neverland?" 

Erik looks at me and nods his head slightly before brushing his hair back with his right hand. "I lived in the south. I was a farmer boy-"

Erik glances at me as I stifle a laugh, "S-sorry, I just can't imagine you in overalls..." Erik smile and rolls his eyes in entertained annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah." He takes a breath and continues, "My parents were...they were the best they could be. They were drinkers , hardcore ones at that. I won't get into details but lets just say that things got ugly at home sometimes. One day when I was 15 I met a boy named Christopher. We were friends, and then one day we were more than friends. Chris gave me the love my parents never could. One day my dad spotted Chris and I together and realized what was going on... that's the last day I saw my parents.  They told me to get out of their house, they disowned me and threw me on the streets. I was practically starving one night when I heard Pan's flute in the distance. I followed it and... I guess that's the end of the story."

My mouth hung open, this boy has been to hell and back...

"Erik...I'm so sorry. That sucks, I-I-"

"It's okay, it was a long time ago. I was taken in 1954 I believe..."

I gave Erik a quick hug and rubbed his shoulder with sympathy.

"Now," he spoke, "my next question is... why are you on Neverland? It sounds like you had a pretty decent life."

"I honestly don't know, I never was lost really. I always had a plan that I was going to execute. Maybe that was the problem... I never took a risk, never even attempted to be anything more than average. I struggled, well struggle still, with anxiety. Sometimes general and sometimes social. I suppose I missed a few oppurtunities because of it, sometimes I felt too afraid to even leave the house and most days I couldn't handle being alone. I also couldn't handle being with people. There was no escape, no way to walk away from the fear... but I guess I preferred the lonely fear because I kind of gave up trying to socialize at a certain point. Gave up trying to be what I thought other people wanted."

Erik looked at me with soft eyes and nodded his head in understanding.

"Alessia?"

Our conversation is interrupted by a voice behind me and I practically jump out of my seat.

I turn around and see Pan smirking, "Sorry love, didn't mean to scare you. Can we talk for a minute?"

I look at Erik than back at Pan and slowly get out of my seat and walk towards Pan, 

this had better be interesting.