Day Ninety-Four

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Hello everyone! Would like to say a few things before I get into this chapter.

First off, I would like to thank you so much for getting this story to over 100 reads!! My main purpose for writing this book was to prove to myself that I can finish one and hopefully from there it would give me more confidence to get back into writing fully. The fact tat people are actually reading this makes my heart burst with happiness (as cheesy as that sounds) but I'm genuinely over the moon, so thank you for that. But saying that, feedback would be amazing so if you have any comments, please, feel free to leave them for me.

Also, I know it has been over a month since I last updated the book. So as an apology for taking so long and a thank you for the reads, I will be uploading 10 chapters tonight and then continue uploading weekly (hopefully). I really want to get into the routine of this and do it properly, I am determined. I have so many chapters written and I am so excited for you to read them.

Again, a HUGE thank you to everyone who is reading this. I really hope you are enjoying it so far. Love you guys loads.

Devan x

Christmas morning. The morning everyone wakes up with butterflies in their stomach. Usually still sleep deprived as their excitement kept them awake majority of the night, counting down the minutes. Dreaming of waking up to find that the fat man with a white beard had been into your house while you slept, leaving presents under your Christmas Tree. Christmas was time of happiness, laughter and joy. So why was it that I woke up Christmas morning, dreading even stepping out of bed?

Oh. Right.

Last Night.

I couldn't sleep last night, and not because my heart was full of fucking Christmas cheer. But because it was full of the complete opposite. Pain. My head kept replaying the events of last night, the loud and argumentative phone call with Paul. The way his voice would get louder and louder as he told me how stupid I was. The way he told me that I was no longer allowed to hang out with anyone that he doesn't approve of because he clearly couldn't trust me to make my own decisions. I would have argued back, I really wanted to tell him that he had no right to tell me what I can and can't do in my own life. I wanted to ask him who the fuck he thought he was and why he felt the need to control me this way. I also wanted to tell him that he could go fuck himself, and that I was going to hang out with whoever I wanted whether he knew or not.

But I didn't. I just stayed silent and let him take over my life completely. The only thing that was going through my head was Luke. This was all his fault. It's his fault that my life is now completely screwed, it's not even my own life anymore what am I talking about? I'm living it, but I no longer have any say in the choices that are made within it.

When I eventually managed to pull myself out of bed, I could hardly keep the fake smile plastered on my face whilst I was with my family. I didn't want to ruin their day, didn't want to burden their good time with my shitty problems. I knew what they would tell me anyway.

'You should leave him. We have never liked him. Why can't you just fuck him off already?'

That's all they ever said about Paul. Safe to say that they didn't like him, and they certainly wouldn't appreciate the way he was talking to me last night. If my older brother, David, was to find out the things he was saying to me, then he would absolutely lose it and I don't think I would be able to stop him. Or if I would even want to stop him anyway.

I know I fucked up with smoking weed, but was this all completely necessary? I had to go to Pauls later today to meet his family, and after everything that happened, that's the last thing I want to do today. But maybe it would be okay, maybe he would have calmed down and realised how unreasonable he was being and take it all back, maybe.

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