365 Days

Day 311

The weird thing about life is that you never know who is going to get dragged into yours, or at what time. Some people will stay for a long time, some will come and go within a short space. Some people you can see being friends with forever, whilst others make you wish they were out of your life sooner rather than later.

Luke was an in-the-middle kind of person in my life. I could see him being there forever, no matter what the circumstances. But then again, part of me wants him to leave and never come back as that would make everything so much easier. After countless arguments, goodbyes that we thought would be the last, and feelings going unsaid. I am now back to square one, only this time, there is a baby in the loop.

I am trying my hardest to be there for him, much to Pauls dismay. I don't know why but I feel like I need him in my life, no matter how difficult it is. I need him, even if it is just friendship. These past few weeks have been hard for him, getting to terms with becoming a father and realising that he is now legally bound to Elizabeth for the rest of his life, someone who he doesn't even understand his feelings for. But I've been there, through it all, and that's the way it is going to stay.

Elizabeth has been giving Luke a hard time, although I don't really think you could this early into the pregnancy, she blames the hormones. She won't let him come to any of the appointment or any of the scans which is pretty harsh considering its his baby too. Due to the amount of stress going around, I suggest a night out in order to cheer everyone up a bit. Hopefully.

We arrive at our usual place and instantly get waved in, we have basically become regulars now so they don't ever check our ID. I go to the bar and get a drink, before Paul pulls me way from any listening ears.

'Why have you brought Luke? Doesn't he have a pregnant girlfriend to look after?' He sneers, resulting in a glare from me.

'You said you were fine with me and him being friends, are we seriously going back to square one? Remember where that got you last time? Besides, Elizabeth is away this week, detoxing, meditating or some shit apparently it's a good way to help during pregnancy. He could do with a night out with his FRIENDS don't you think?' I raise my eyebrows. Paul just shrugs his shoulders and walks away like a child that can't get what he wants.

I sigh and make my way back to the group, sitting in between Paul and Luke.

'Hey, do you want a drink or something?' I ask Luke who points behind him to the bar.

'Don't worry, Jay has gone to get me one. So how come you asked us all out tonight?' he leans in closer so that he can hear me, I hear Paul snarl from behind me but choose to ignore it.

'I just thought that the group could do with a fun night, a lot of us have been stressing a bit lately' I look up at him, hoping he wouldn't really clock on to the fact that I basically arranged this night for him to have a bit of time with his friend.

'Paige, you didn't do this just for me did you?' Fuck.

'Would it be so wrong if I did? I mean, you have been going through a lot recently and I just thought that it could help you out to forget all your troubles for one night' I look down at my hands, until I feel someone hug me.

'Thank you' he mumbles into my hair. I breath in his scent, relishing in it. But then someone clearing their throat behind me makes me pull away quickly.

I give Paul a small smile and he just rolls his eyes, getting up and walking towards the bathroom. Damn, it was just a hug. A few drinks will get down him and he will be fine.

4 Hours later and everyone in the group is, yep you guessed it, hammered. I am currently grinding on Paul who is enjoying this more than ever, his hands have not left my hips since we started dancing. I am actually having fun, then I notice one person in the group is missing.

'Hey, I am going to go for a cigarette' I shout into Pauls ear who just nods and then turns around to dance with someone else. Well I guess some things never change.

I make my way outside and that is where I find Luke, sitting on a bench by himself.

'We need to stop meeting like this' I joke, offering him a cigarette. He laughs and takes one, putting it in his mouth before I light the end.

'What you thinking about?' My drunken curiosity getting the better of me.

'You' he states bluntly, causing me to freeze and nearly choke on the smoke I had just inhaled.

'W-What?' is all I could whisper into the air, which seemed to have gotten thicker.

'I was thinking about how we first met and I couldn't get you out of my head. I know it's kind of creepy to say, but I always wondered what it would be like to kiss you, hold you and just be able to call you mine. It's wrong, I know. So wrong. Which is why I haven't done anything about it. But when I found out Paul was treating you the way he was, especially the night you broke up at my party, I just became so protective of you. I don't ever want to let anything hurt you again, which is why I practically begged you not to get back with him. I don't know why I am telling you this all now, considering i've got a baby on the way. I just feel that under current circumstances I am not going to ever have to opportunity again, so I'm taking my chance and getting it off my chest'

All I can do is stare at him while he speaks. This doesn't feel real, I have dreamt of him saying words like this to me for months and now that it is finally happening, I don't know what to do. Say something Paige, for fucks sake.

'What about Elizabeth?' Great Paige, one thing you could say and you had to bring her into it.

'Honestly, it's strange. I thought I loved her. But how could I be in love with her when everything I have just said to you isn't even on the same scale of how I feel for her, you're way ahead. But she is the mother of my child, I have to respect that. As much as it kills me to sit here and not being able to kiss you, I need to take responsibility as you said' he looks down at his feet, then something comes back to me.

'That night, when I came to meet you on the field after Wills friends party. I remember, the story you told me. Who were you talking about?'

'I think you know who I was talking about Paige' he looks me in the eyes and I feel my whole world turn to mush. Oh My God.

'You said you were falling in love with me?' My lungs feel like they're about to burst. Why is it so fucking hard to breath right now. I scoot closer to him so that our knees were touching. He looks deep into my eyes.

'I did, I still am' he almost whispers. I suck in a breath and feel a new wave of confidence come over me, I slowly lean in until we are barely apart.

'You wanna know the funny thing?' I mumble.

'Hmm' his eyes don't move off of my lips and it makes me smile. There is no one else in the world right now, just me and him.

'I feel the same way' I lean in, closing my eyes as he closes his. Our lips were just about to touch when the back door of the club slams shut, indicating that someone was going to come outside.

'Shit' we both say in unison, looking at each other in panic.