Between You and Me

~~18~~

A week has passed since Shilo snapped me out of my heartless zombie state and returned me to the human world. My mom had definitely noticed my change in behaviour. She said so herself that she's happy I'm more in tune with myself. Oliver however, is a different story. He's been cold and distant to me lately.

I could say it doesn't slice at me every time he cancels a plan to meet up, but then I'd be lying.

The timing seems suspect to me.

The moment I realize my mistaken actions and change my behaviour and then Oliver suddenly wants nothing to do with me. It's almost confirming what I originally thought: we have no chance after this year ends.

I'm trying not to give up so easily. My whole life I've fought for what I want, Oliver is no different.

Fighting for someone starts with catching them off guard, so they have no choice but to talk.

"Sage? How lovely to see you." Mrs. Barnett opens the front door to her lovely home and smiles at me.
"Mrs. Barnett it's wonderful to see you again."
"Are you here to see Oliver, dear?"
"Yes ma'am. He owes me an explanation." I glance behind her and make out a silent home, no sign of my quarterback.
She smiles brighter and opens the door wider for me to pass and I do, "He's been moody as of late and I apologize for that. I'm not sure what's gotten into him. Oliver! Come down here!"

A second passes before I hear the thumping of steps that match the 18 year old boy I'm waiting for. Oliver emerges at the top of the stairs and hops down two at a time. He reaches me before he notices my presence.

"Sage, what are you doing here?"

His hair is still too long, his eyes are tired and his shoulders are slightly slumped. He looks terrible, but somehow he still feels like home.

"I'll leave the two of you to talk. Madam Secretary is on so you know where I'll be!" Mrs. Barnett makes her exit, but not before I notice her shoot a stern look to her son.
"Let's go up to my room."

He doesn't look back to make sure I'm coming, just heads off up the stairs two at a time, the same way he came down.

Once I catch up to his large steps, Oliver is sitting on his bed looking at me expectantly.

I take a breath before I start: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Oliver's eyes widen before his mask returns, "What are you talking about."
"You've been brushing me off for a week, you've skipped out on meeting me for lunch three times and whenever you are around I get this attitude," I gesture with open palms to his general direction, "I frankly am finished with this. I want an explanation and an apology."

He closes his eyes and runs his hands through his hair and I have to fight the urge to do the same.

"I'm really trying not to loose my temper on you right now." He opens his eyes and I can see the frustration burning bright, reflected even in my own eyes, "I can't do this anymore, Sage."
"You can't do what anymore."
"I can't do this!" He stands up suddenly, "Whatever we are!"

I stare at him, confused. Does he really mean that?

"Whatever we are?! Oliver are you joking right now? We've been together for months!"
"Are we? Are we really together? From what I understand being together means sharing plans and asking for advice. It's trusting your other half to always be there no matter how crazy or terrible life gets. You haven't been fulfilling all of those, so I assumed you put an end to us."
"I've been lacking in those? You've been ignoring me for a week, giving attitude for longer and I'm the one to blame? There's something wrong with this picture, Oliver." I cross my arms over my chest while I glare at him.
"Of course I've been ignoring you! I'm avoiding you! I'm trying to live my life without you in it so when we separate next year it won't rip my heart out like I know it will!" He's breathing harder and his nostrils flare as he yells down at me, "Since the beginning of this relationship you've only seen me as a way to keep yourself busy until some random college guy can sweep you off your feet next year! You can't deny that you never thought of going to school with me after this! You decided all on your own that we don't have a future!"
I step forward and yell back at him, not caring that his mother is surely aware of this conversation, "I don't want you going to school where I am!"

His eyes widen and he pauses, taking a second to absorb what I said. He flashes me views of confusion, then hurt and finally more anger. I watch him carefully as he swallows all his emotions.

"Well that settles it then. You don't want me around. We may as well end this now too, save us both the trouble." He lowers his head and turns to leave, expecting me to follow him to the door and out of his life.

But I don't want to leave his life. It took me some time to realize it but I'm not sure what I'd do without him. He's one of the most level headed people I've ever met, he has a calming quality to him that's rubbed off some on me. He knows what he wants in his life and he works hard to earn it. He makes me warm inside, he makes me laugh and he makes me smile... he makes me happy. The happiest I've been in a long time.

"Oliver wait let me explain." I can hear the desperation in my voice.
He pauses again before opening his bedroom door, "I'm listening."
"It's not that I don't want to go to college with you, I really do," I walk over and gently grasp his hand and pull him to the bed, sitting down so our legs are touching, "You're going to be a star, Oliver."
He looks confused, "What do you mean."
"Let me finish dummy." I roll my eyes, "You are a better quarterback than you know. You deserve a school with the best athletic department anyone can give you. I'm not going to school for athletics, my reasons for going to a school are the academics. I don't want you settling for a school with a lesser athletics program just to stay with me. I want you to do your best, not my best."

Oliver is quiet for a few minutes. I can feel and see his brain thinking through my reasons for not telling him where I'm studying next year.

When he does speak, he whispers, "You mean to tell me that you put me through all that because you want me to play for the best possible school?"
"Yes. I want what's best for you, Olly."

He stares at me silently for a few minutes. His mask is still down so it's impossible for me to have any clue what he's thinking about. I do want to know what he's thinking. I'm getting nervous about what he'll say and what he'll do.

"So you would go to college with me if you could?"
"Of course I would." I brush the hair out of his eyes, "I'd stay with you forever."

It's my turn to freeze at my words. I know what that sounds like: it's like my feelings for him have evolved into something I never thought they would. But as much as I hate the meaning to my words I realize they're true. I find no fault in Oliver as a person and as a partner. That doesn't, however, stop my cheeks from heating up.

I feel so flustered that I need a minute to calm down. I stand up and head for the bathroom beside Oliver's room, but a hand grabs mine and pulls me back. My chest collides with Oliver's and one arm wraps around my waist while the other hand tilts my chin up so I have no choice but to look into his eyes.

"You aren't going anywhere."

And I believe him. It's more than just at this moment, I know he means I'm not leaving his side any time soon.

"Do you mean that? That you'd stay with me forever?"
"Yes." I really cant think straight with the way he's looking at me right now, my mind is a mess, "I really mean it."

He lets me go suddenly and turns around to face the wall. I can hear him muttering to himself and let him have a moment to collect his thoughts. After a minute he turns back just as suddenly and picks me up and placing me gently back on the edge of his bed. He lowers himself on his knees and slides in between my legs. My head is a little taller than his in this position.

I look down at him when he starts, "I have to tell you something. It might scare you but it's how I feel and I can't bottle it up any more. You don't have to feel the same way yet, I know it's a little quick for some people. And we are pretty-"
I peck him on the lips quickly to shut him up, "You're rambling, Olly."
"You're right, I am." He shakes his head and looks to the floor.
"It's really adorable, but just tell me what-"

I'm interrupted this time. He looks up at me and his eyes are so clear I can see it and I know he really means what he says.

"I love you."