Between You and Me

~~20~~

Final exams were upon us, and I had finally cracked and told Oliver of my options.  The possibility of us going away to school was slight, but still there anyways. I'd decided on anthropology at the university of Oregon. That was my first choice, while journalism at U of Oregon was my second choice. I was banking on one of the two programs to accept me, given that I didn't apply to anything else because of how expensive applications are.

The way this year was going I'd be graduating high school with honours. I'd be the first person in our family to do that. My mom was over the moon proud of me, as were Oliver and Sage.

Sage was applying for biology and science at a whole host of schools. She'd made a deal with her dad who was paying for all of her applications and her rent for all of school. The way things were going, I wouldn't have her near me next year. It made me a little upset, but in the end I just wanted the best for her.

Oliver was still waiting for scholarship offers, and we were both waiting with baited breath for a possible offer from Oregon. Two of their scouts were at one of his games later in the season. Based on all the nodding they did to each other I'm sure he managed to impress them.

Now our plan to stay together next year almost entirely rests on both of us getting offers from Oregon.

And boy do we want to be Ducks.

Every day I've been checking the mail before going to work, and every day I'm disappointed. I really shouldn't be though, because offers most likely won't be sent out until final marks are calculated and the school sends them to colleges. Which means everything rides on the last three exams of my high school career.

"Sage I'm exhausted! Let's go to a movie tonight for a break. We've been studying for the entire day!" Shilo whines to me from across the table in the school library.
I barely look up from my geography notes, "I can't, you know that. This is my only intense exam and I need to do well."

She blows out a huge sigh and smacks her forehead down onto her biology notes.

Shilo is smart enough that she absorbs information like a sponge, which means she really doesn't have to study as much as I do to have good marks. Most of the time it doesn't bother me, but her great marks mean more scholarships, the only thing that makes me jealous.

Suddenly I feel a cloud of stress and anxiety lower herself into a chair beside me and across from Shilo. I don't even have to look up to see who it is. Abby was this stressed for midterms.

"Hey Abs." Shilo mutters, also without looking up, "How's the studying going?"
"I'm the most stressed I've ever been in my entire life." She mutters with wide, sleep deprived eyes.
"I can tell." I mutter without an upward glance.
"Screw both of you asses" she sighs and sinks further into the library seat, "Can we go for food? I haven't eaten since yesterday morning." Abby asks.
I finally glance up from my notes and flick my eyes from Abby to Shilo, "You two go ahead, Shilo wants a break too. I'm going to stay here and study more."
"Don't overwork yourself, okay?" Abby throws over her shoulder with a wave while she and Shilo take off for food.

I wave my hand in acknowledgment before burying myself in geography notes once again.

~~~

"I come bearing gifts."

I look up and spot Oliver placing a sub down on the table before he takes the seat opposite me and starts eating his own dinner.

"You're wonderful." I smile and grab the sandwich and start at it.
"I've been described that way before, yes." He smirks.
I roll my eyes but can't help smiling again, "Where would I be without you bringing me food and cheering me on through exams."
"It's only fair," Oliver starts while wiping mayo off the side of my mouth with his thumb, "you're my cheerleader at games and I'm yours for school."
I pause my chewing for a second before nodding once, "Good point. We all know you'd lose without me at your games."
"You're right Sage. We do know that." He chuckles before we continue eating our pre-exam dinner in peaceful silence.

I know there's something on his mind by the way he stares off into his sandwich. Based on how well I know him I peg it as a mix of anxiousness and excitement.

"Oly what have you got to tell me." I cut to the chase.
He glances up before smiling sweetly, "Coach talked to me before I got here."

My mood instantly changes. I'm on the edge of my seat in anticipation, waiting for the news we've been waiting weeks to receive. I forget the sandwich and my eyes widen, ready to pry it out of him.

"Well tell me!"
He lets out a deep breath he probably didn't know he was holding, "I have offers if my average stays high enough after exams."
"Okay tell me where now babe..." I'm talking slowly trying to ease it out now.
"Oregon is the only one I care about."

I must blink a few times before I register the news because Oliver searches my face for any reaction. I think he gets what he wants when I almost get us both kicked out of the library for being too loud. It's all I can do to hold myself together with the pride I'm feeling for him.

So much pride that I barely think about the nerves nagging me, waiting for an offer from the same school.

"Oliver that's amazing! That's what you wanted! You're going to be a Duck!"
"Well I have to graduate first, but yes that's the plan." He's acting modest but I know he's barely holding in his excitement.
"You're so smart I know you'll keep your average the same or better. You're going to own that campus next year." I place my hand over his and squeeze.

While I try to ignore the squeeze in my heart that feels like he's already slipping away from me.

Oliver grabs my hands from across the table and leans in to look me directly in the eyes, "I think you mean we're going to own that campus next year."

I scoff and collapse back into my chair. When I finally meet his gaze I can see that he's completely serious.

"You need to think positive - we're going to go to Oregon together." I can tell that he really means that, which honestly just crushes me even more.
I start to defend myself and stay realistic, although I don't manage to finish, "Oliver I think it's time we ackowledge that your football skills are much more advanced than my intelligence, so-"

He moves so suddenly that I stop mid sentence. He pushes out his chair and walks around the table to mine, where he turns it 90 degrees and kneels in front of me. I can spot the pleading in his eyes before he even opens his mouth.

"Will you please stop underestimating yourself?" He presses light kisses to my knuckles on both hands before continuing, "I have watched you put your grades over everything this past year and I'm so proud of you that I know you'll get into Oregon too, okay? I just see us walking to class on campus and being a major power couple for four years - can you manage to believe in that for us?"
I let out a breath I never knew I was holding, "Olly why are you so perfect?"
"I'm not perfect, Sage, but I think we are together."

That last line does it for me, as tears start to pour onto my cheeks I stand up and say something about needing a minute before scurrying off to the bathroom to take deep breaths in the mirror. I get funny looks on the way there, but I realize why when Oliver grabs my wrist before I make it to the safety of the ladies room and pulls me to the end of a service hall instead.

Oliver's eyes are bright with what looks like his own unshed tears, which only makes me more upset. I want to hide myself from him, I feel like I've finally shown my biggest insecurity - this inability to believe in myself - and now I have nowhere to run. I've relied on harsh realities and often self-depreciation to make it this far, it feels odd to have strong arms grounding me through what turns out to be a panic attack. Oliver stays the whole time, holding me tight and reminding me to breathe.

I don't think he realizes that he's become my oxygen.