Ten Past the Hour (Mycroft Holmes Fanfiction)

Chapter 13

Amy rolled onto her side and faced Mycroft. He opened his eyes just enough to meet hers and then closed them again, smiling tiredly. It was Sunday morning and rain pattered down on the roof, drowning out the noise of the city. Their warmth had collected under the sheets, leaving them feeling as though they were alone in the world. She smiled tiredly and closed her eyes, sinking back into sleep.

Hours later, she woke to a gentle kiss and the now familiar sight of warm blue eyes watching her. In the quiet comfort of the morning, Mycroft made love to her. And after, he laid on his side and took her hand in his, holding it close to his heart while they listened to the rain. Neither moved nor were they inclined to. Few words had been spoken. Amy broke the silence with a careful question.

"Why do you always wear this?" She turned his gold ring around his finger and looked at him curiously.

He opened his eyes. "To remind me."

"Of?"

He sighed and stared at the ring. "That attachment is dangerous. Love hurts."

She frowned, wondering how he could wear such a reminder and bring himself to say that he loved her. Did he love her that much? That he would ignore his own rules and reminders?

"What happened?" She shuffled closer on the bed and he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Do you remember anything about the kidnapping of the Prime Minister? Twenty years back?"

She nodded. "Vaguely, yes. Wasn't very concerned with it all, I was just a teenager."

"A team was sent in to retrieve him but things went wrong. They walked right into a trap. There was a dilemma. Save the prime minister or save a team that was incredibly valuable to the nation. The answer was obvious. The one who had to decide was me."

"And why was that a problem?" She frowned, unsure why it would bother him so much.

"The leader of that team was my wife."

Amy looked up at him, eyes wide. "You let her die."

He nodded. "I came to the conclusion that it was dangerous to love so much. That it would only lead to pain. In my line of work, it's almost a certainty."

She shook her head and pulled away. "But you can't close yourself off from it because you're afraid of the pain. Caring... Love is dangerous and it's hurts, it hurts so much. But its what makes us human. It's what makes us do extraordinary things and sometimes terrible things. Sometimes it makes us act in a way that is less than the best and sometimes it makes us the best that we can be. And on those rare occasions that are entirely worth the risk, it's makes us more than the best. You can close yourself off but is it worth being so alone? I'd rather die young knowing I loved and was loved than die old and hated and bitter because I pushed everyone away." She stroked his cheek gently and kissed him. "Darling it's going to hurt. But it's worth it if you'd just give your heart a chance to be happy."

She tried to get him to meet her gaze but he closed his eyes tightly and buried his face in the crook of her neck. Amy wrapped her arms around him. She sighed as the realization struck her.

Mycroft Holmes feared only two things. Chaos and pain. He could stare death down, she knew he had many times. But he couldn't bear the pain of a broken heart. And as much as it must have terrified him, he had allowed himself to love her. He trusted her with his heart and she would do everything in her power to make sure she never betrayed him.

He took a deep breath and pulled away. She watched as he slid his ring off and turned to set it on the nightstand. Facing her again, he managed a wobbly smile. "Twenty years." His voice was rough with unshed tears. "Perhaps it's time I let her go."