This Old Town ✖️Muke

Chapter 32

(Michael)

"I knew i would find you here" a voice startles me. i sigh and let the tears fall. John opens the door to Blaze's stall and steps in. he pats Blaze who nudges him then sits on the bedding next to me.

"they are leaving you know" he says and i nod.

"you arent going to say goodbye?" he asks and i shake my head. 

"i can't" i whisper. he pulls me into a side hug and sighs.

"Michael my nephew is many things, but perceptive is not one of them." i chuckle at that.

"if he hasn't caught on to the way you feel by now,he never will" i look up to him with wide eyes. and he laughs.

"you cant really think you are good at hiding it do you? i think everyone in town knew how you felt about him by the time you boys were 13,even if you didn't know it yet yourself." i sigh in embarrassment.

"is it that obvious?" i whine.

"to him? no" i laugh at that. 

"you cant really be giving up can you?" he asks and i shrug.

"i cant really stop him can i?"

"no but, you can tell him how you feel. maybe he will be more apt to come back then."

"ya or do everything in his power to never come back" john laughs.

"you have to say goodbye, don't let it end like last time. please." i shake my head. 

"i can't, because if i say goodbye i know it's real and that this time when i lose him i lose him for good." i cry.

"you dont know that. we got him a horse, trust me he'll come back." i snort.

"gee thanks"

"he's different you know, you must see it. he enjoys working here, he found his love for riding and exploring again. he will never forget it here."

"ya i'm afraid he will forget me though" i sigh.

"you dont know unless you try. please dont let this go. i cant see you go back to how you were when your parents died. please Michael, for both of your sake, because i know he is hurting just as much as you are."

"no he's not, you heard him all summer, he's leaving nothing behind here. Hes going back to being famous for fuck sake, do you really think he would care if i told him i loved him?"

"i think it doesnt hurt to find out. and i think you will regret it if you just leave it like this. you grew apart over the years but you picked up like you were never apart. thats a friendship that can withstand everything. thats a relationship that you need to hold on to. but if you wont do it for yourself, then do it for me, and for Ash and Cal. none of us like to see you upset." he finally says, patting my leg and standing up. 

"Luke's out by the pasture, he's waiting for you, if you care." he says before walking out. i sigh, tugging on my hair. "Ahhh" i shout scaring my horse in the process. i angrily stand up and storm out of the stables.

"why the hell are you still here?" i shout at the figure  leaning on the gate, staring out at the horses. i cant control my anger anymore apparently. he startles and turns around.

"what?"

"you heard me" i growl, shoving him against the fence. 

"what the hell is wrong with you?" he asks placing his hands on my shoulders to make me stop shoving him.

"you're leaving thats my problem!" i shout.

"you knew i was leaving since the day i got here!" he shouts back. 

"i know, and at first i hated you so i didn't care. and then i just keep my distance. but then i let my stupid thoughts tell me that if you enjoyed it here enough you might stay. Luke if you leave again.. then don't bother coming back." i let the tears fall but duck my head so he doesn't see how weak i am. 

"why are you being like this?" he asks, trying to get me to look at him.

"it doesn't matter anymore anyway." i clench my jaw. i'm a coward. i turn on my heel and start to walk back to the house.

"have a good time on tour Luke." i call over my shoulder.

"Michael!" he shouts after me but i ignore him. 

"Michael please! do you really think its easy for me to leave?" he shouts at my back,and i can hear the pain in his voice. That makes me stop.

"why wouldn't it be? you get to leave the stupid smelly farm right? just go Luke. everyone knows the most important thing in the world to you is your music. nothing ever gets in the way of that right?" i know i'm being mean but i hate him. i hate him for making me fall for him all over again and then just walk right back out of my life like last time. 

"it is but i made a life here again. i'm not just going to forget about it."

"i wish you would, it would make everything easier." i mumble.

"what?"

"nothing Luke just. just leave ok. go back to your glamorous life of a rock star."

"you're wrong you know" is the last thing i hear before im out of earshot. i close my eyes and will myself not to turn around. i know begging him to stay isn't fare to him. i cant make him choose between his life as a famous rock star and me. i have nothing that the other life cant give him. well except horses, we have plenty of them.

~~~~

"you're so stupid" Ashton says that night, long after Luke and his mom left and long after their flight would have taken off.

"i cant make him choose." i sigh.

"you didnt give him the choice." Cal says.

"it's not fare to him. all he's ever wanted in his life is to play music. to make him choose music or me, thats not fare at all.

"he didn't choose music over you because you didn't give him the choice. if you had told him how you feel maybe he would have stayed." Ashton sighs.

"you dont get it do you? the most important thing in the world to him is his music. do you really think if i told him it would make a difference?"

"you wont know now will you?"Ash growls.

"come on guys stop fighting. we all knew how this was going to end i dont know why we tried to kid ourselves." Calum interjects. "let's just hope he keeps his promise." he sighs.  Cal is still holding on to the hope that Luke will keep his promise and keep in contact. its wishful thinking i think. 

"you cant be happy just letting him go like that" i frown.

"i'm not, i never will be, but what choice did i have. they say if you love something let it go right? I let him go. there is no sense dwelling on it."