Bloody Fingers, Broken Mind

B L U E

Can a color be a feeling?

Can you feel a color?

I think so, because I can.
I can feel you.
I can feel the emotions in your eyes, which are the most boring shade of blue,
but always the most entertaining to stare into for the longest time.

I can feel your hair, which is the most interesting shade of blue that is apart of you.
It's soft, it's brightly light, and it's tangled most times.
You could brush it, but I do that with my fingers all the time.

Your nails are the darkest shade of blue that is on you.
Always navy, never baby.
It matches your personality,
which is also dark, like your humor as well.
I paint your nails for you.

Next is your jeans.
Always light, faded, and ripped.
Never dark, new, or whole.
That's okay though, I don't buy you new jeans anyway.
It's a waste of money and you say it doesn't let you express yourself.

But there is still something sad in all of this.
In all of these shades of blue,
your mind is the bluest.
You express yourself too much.
You show your love for the color blue,
but your constant hate for yourself.

From head to toe, you're blue.
From heart to soul, you're bluer.
Is it not me that helps?
Is it something else that makes you stay in this world?
Because I know that at the first chance you got, that you would leave this hell behind if you could.

So if it's not me—and I know it's not—then what is it?
You would never tell me.
You'd just say to shut up and keep painting your nails,
Be quiet and keep feeling your hair.

But it didn't matter in the end, because whatever actually was helping you didn't last.

I think a color can be contagious.
Because now, you've made me blue.
My heart used to be red and it used to pump crimson blood through its chambers, but now it's blue and it pumps ice through its frozen veins.

I used to see all colors, rainbows of all kinds, but after you,
I only see blue.
Your boring eyes, bright hair, dark nails, faded jeans, and blue heart.

Color can be a feeling.
Because I fell for you, who is merely just a walking, living, unfortunately breathing color.
You showed me what it's like to feel color, and to be a color.

Now that you've finally left me, I've taken your place.

I, too, am now a broken, lost, lonely, unfortunately living color.

Without you, I am blue.