Sins Of The Father (TRLS)

Chapter 12

  A month later-----

I never thought that something like this would happen to me. This whole experience has changed my life, and it all comes down to this. As I prepared to walk down the isle of the great hall to wed Tom Riddle I began to contemplate my life choices. The Headmaster permitted us to have the wedding here with a limited amount of guests allowed. I guess us getting married was what would make Dippet sleep better at night. I took a deep breath as I heard a piano tune. I know I am doing this for my kids, I would do anything for them. It just doesn't make this any easier. The soft tune of "here comes the bride" sounded echoing from the great hall causing me to shudder. How can I go through with this? How can I willingly marry the Dark Lord? Everything comes down to this very moment in time, the moment where I become legally bound to Tom Riddle till death do us part.

It took all of my strength to not run from the doors and go back to the safety of my dorm. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "Here goes everything," I whispered as I walked into the great hall with a bouquet of flowers in my hands. My white dress was decorated with a black sash by orders of the Headmaster himself. It was almost like a notice to all in attendance why we were here. As if my baby bump didn't let them all know itself. Students and teachers that decided to attend stared from the isles. It was quite private and that's what I wanted. Gerty wasn't here as we had a falling out shortly after I lost Gianna. I finally looked at Tom as he stood straight and proud in the front of the great hall, shameless. He looked so confident standing in the front waiting for me to join him. I wish I could be like that, never caring what others think. It's crazy how you can go from the top to the very bottom in the blink of an eye. I used to be a role model in future and here everyone thinks of me as a common whore. The whispers get to me about my baby body and other things that come with being sleepless and sick all the time. I don't know if I even feel confident in my own skin anymore. The stares from all the guests made me uncomfortable, but it is something I should get used to. It's not everyday you get pregnant at 17 in the 1940's at Hogwarts. Walking down the long isle seemed like it took forever till I finally arrived at the front. I handed my bouquet to Milly and proceeded to place my hands into Tom's as we were told to do. I wanted the wedding to be as traditional as possible to distract me from the circumstances. My whole life I dreamt of what my wedding would be like. Never did I think it would be like this.

I felt Tom squeeze my hands in his to draw my attention to him. I guess staring at my shoes wasn't a good look. I looked into his eyes searching for any semblance of compassion, but I'm sure my sad eyes caused his to look back at me with agitation. No groom wants his bride to stare at him in sadness as they wed. I tried to appear normal or even as if I wasn't dying on the inside. I can't believe I'm seventeen, 6 months pregnant, and am about to wed the darkest wizard of all time. He held no emotion in his eyes, but I knew he could see everything I was feeling through mine. It scared me that I would have to look into those eyes for the rest of my life; His cold, onyx eyes that peered into my soul so deeply it chilled me to the bone. I shivered as I thought about what my life would be like with him. I then began to think of what kind of husband he would be. No he wasn't very sympathetic, but he was intelligent. He knew what I needed and he would give it to me if it was within his reach. Hugging on him had become easier when I needed to gain some sort of human connection when I was emotional. Little by little he was becoming more comfortable with my presence. I guess that's what happens when you stick someone to you like glue. It only started to become real when I realized Tom had just said "I do." I had zoned out but now I am paying close attention as it was now time for me to say my vows. I recited in segments the following "I, Roslyn Hill take you, Tom Riddle, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." My voice cracked at the end as I realized what I was doing. I felt tears in my eyes as I realized that this was it. I wasn't in love and I wasn't going to live my dream of falling for a man that was crazy for me and then raising our children together living on love. I looked down taking a deep breath, clenching my jaw. I didn't want to cry because everyone would think they were tears of joy when actually I was completely and totally devastated. It was like the Dark Lord had just crushed all my dreams and took away my ability to make more. Everything I wanted, everything that I had planned, it was like a distant memory and I would now have to live out my days with a man that doesn't appreciate me let alone me love me. It felt like a new end to my already tattered life. I would be his to do whatever he pleased with, legally.