drawn - h.s.

xii.

[ellie’s pov]

“Do you know the band? Ellie? Ellie do you know the band I’m talking about?” Maddie was waving a hand before my face but I couldn’t answer her. The only thing I had caught from her intense speech as her eyes were glowing with happiness and excitement were the first words ‘Harry Styles was here!’. She had even waved a napkin in front of my face with something written on it; the rest I couldn’t make out. Her words. Her sentences. All I could hear was my breathing and the beat of my heart. Had he been here? What if I had stayed? What if - what if we had -

“Ellie are you okay? Hallo? Anybody there?” Maddie’s tone was less hysterical now and my eyes found hers, which just like usual were covered with a thick layer of dark makeup that made the color even more pronounced.

“So I guess you do know him right?” She smiled widely and jumped up and down excitedly, “I still can’t fucking believe I met him! And oh my god he smells so good, that’s really the thing the pictures never capture. Do you think he’ll return, Ellie?”

I gulped and tried controlling my breathing - what had I done? I just mannered to mutter a ‘sure’ with the smallest possible voice I could muster. Almost afraid he would suddenly turn up and see me. What would happen then? I hadn’t even thought this far. What would actually happen if he turned up and saw me - how would he react? I had no idea if he would know, if I was the real reason he … I mean I was - I was no one. I wasn’t very pretty and I wasn’t very - well outgoing. Practically I was just someone who would blend in with whatever color the walls of the particular room had and just not be noticed. It was the greatest exception with Maddie and Kit who seemed to actually take notice of me.

“Ellie if you don’t give me a proper sentence right now I’ll call your mum and tell her you got another panic attack because of Harry Styles,” I cringed at the sound of his name almost afraid me thinking of him would make him burst in through the doors. I had had a panic attack which my mum had explained overly loud to my grandfather - but no one knew it was because of the curly haired guy. Maddie's sarcasm had just been too spot on without her knowing it to be true.

Instead there came another reaction to Maddie’s loud words as some new customers apparently had heard her. Loud laughter blasted out through the entrance of the little cinema, making Kit peep out his head from the tiny kitchen. I turned in my seat on the counter from where we would sell tickets, Maddie followed my gaze, as the group of girls made their way into the foyer and stared at me.

I wanted to gasp as I noticed them from my class, they were already whispering and the girl in the front - Zara Cooper - was looking over me like I was some kind of lost puppy covered in dirt. It was so clear; it radiated from them that they were talking behind my back. It hung in the air so thick I felt like given in to the pressure and just go hide in the bathroom. My eyes escaped to the floor, as my heart fell somewhere to near my stomach.

“Can I help you?” Maddie’s words sounded loudly and clear - suddenly her voice was icy cold and professional in the sense that it was almost rude. Of course both her and Kit had heard some of the loudly whispered words about me. I tried to shut them out and not think about it too much, but the shock over seeing them here too was almost too much.

“Oh nothing really - we just heard you talking about… Harry Styles was it?” Zara flashed her white teeth at us in a promising smile that desperately tried to hide her jealousy and dislike towards me. She knew Harry too? Harry Styles. I wished I had been more observant with the culture of young people these days. But it simply didn’t interest me; I rarely if ever saw television and had never owned a laptop. All I wanted was just my pen and paper and quietness - nothing more really.

“Well maybe we did - how’s that your concern?” Maddie shot back like some angry dog trying to guard the yard from strangers. She narrowed her eyes at Zara and the group of girls who couldn’t stop giggling, as Zara stepped closer.