Nairobi Dreaming - Complete!

Chapter 5: Dinner

**A/N after a very long hiatus Nairobi Dreaming gets a new part! This was a hard chapter to write as it meant recalling some particularly painful memories of an old friend (whom one of the characters is loosely based on)**

- P.S if you get a notification about this story being updated it's b/c I just edited this chapter!

I didn't say anything, mostly because I couldn't really think of anything to say. I just wanted a moment out there, away from her. The boys hung around me, their hands in their pockets until James said, "You okay?"

There was a kindness to James' expression I hadn't expected to see until I realized it was because he felt sorry for me. He probably thought I had been caught off guard by her behavior but of course the truth was that I had known this was a possibility and I had let it happen.

"Yeah, I'm used to it," I said. I raked a hand through my hair and realized my hand was shaking a little. I didn't feel that emotional but my body was clearly feeling what my mind didn't want to acknowledge. It was a feeling, a bit like deja vu, a bit like PTSD. Here we go again, I kept thinking. 

"What's wrong with her?" Kwame asked.

It was bluntly asked but, actually, I appreciated that. Most people tended to dance around that question, once it occurred to them to ask it and I had heard all kinds of variants on it that, for their vagueness or attempted political correctness, were somehow more offensive.

"She's bipolar," I confessed. "She stopped taking her meds. So right now she's manic."

"I see, I get it now," Kwame said, strangely delighted by the information. "When you took her into the bathroom. I thought to myself, something is not right. I thought you were fighting."

I sighed. "We were. I tried to get her to take her medication but, to be honest, I just gave up. I was hoping she would ...get through the night."

"Doesn't seem likely," Kwame said. "What do you think she is doing in there right now?"

"Snogging some other lush African," James suggested with a twinkle in his eye.

"Snogging," Kwame laughed, imitating James' posh British accent. "Have I ever told you how much I hate that word? It makes kissing sound like fighting. What an awful word."

I wiped my hands on my dress. They were joking but despite how little time had passed it was entirely possible that Kay had found a new guy. I still had no real desire to find her but that short window where I could avoid feeling guilty about not looking for her had passed.

"I should go look for her," I said.

"And then what?" James caught my eye. He was looking at me through his eyelashes and I could tell then, that he was attracted to me. His pale green eyes kept bouncing between my eyes and my lips and there was a warmth to his gaze that gave it all away.

"Back to the hotel," I said reluctantly. I broke eye contact with him which, in some way, was intended to break the moment. My attempt to get laid that night was, in my opinion, over.

"We'll go back with you," James said, persisting, "Help you look after her."

"Will we?" Kwame crossed his arms over his chest, one eyebrow raised skeptically.

"It's a one lady job," I said. In theory it would be nice to have company but in reality it was probably going to get pretty ugly.

"That's a shame," James said. He looked genuinely disappointed and I wished he wasn't so damn good looking. "I mean, what will you do about food?"