Papilio Effectus (Until Dawn Josh X Reader)

Chapter 8: Fine Again

~~~Your POV~~~

I sat up in the hospital bed, watching some cheesy talk show with Ashley and Chris, waiting impatiently for Josh to come and see me.   They were talking to me, but my mind was in another place.  I came back to reality when Ash tapped the bed rail and looked at me.

"(Y/n)?  Hey, you ok?"

I nodded.  "Yeah, I'm good...just getting a little impatient.  Sam should be back with Josh..."

Ash gave my hand a reassuring pat.  "I'm sure they'll be here soon."

Chris chimed in.  "Yeah, (Y/n)...couldn't keep my bro away if we tried, trust me.  I just thought you'd be a little happier if he didn't stink up the place." 

He got a small laugh out of me, although it still hurt to move at all.  There was a knock at the door and it opened to reveal Sam, carrying a bunch of silly 'Get Well Soon' balloons.  She set the weight on the windowsill and gave me a hug.

Behind her was Josh, holding a single red rose.  I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest.  He took two large steps and was by my side, handing me the flower.  We just kind of stared at each other for a moment before Sam spoke up.

"Ok, Chris, Ashley, I think these two need some alone time.  Let's go grab something to eat."  The three left the room and we were alone for the first time in almost a week.

I just looked up at him, stroking his cheek. "Josh, I'm so glad you're ok.  I was so worried about you."  I pulled him to me for a gentle kiss, which would have gotten more intense if the pressure of his hands on my sides didn't make me cry out in pain.

He jumped back, scared.  "Oh, shit, I'm so sorry (Y/n), this is all my fault."  He sat in the chair next to my bed and I could see the tears forming in his eyes.  "I'm so sorry..."

I grabbed his shoulder carefully.  "Josh...this wasn't your fault at all.  It was an accident."

He didn't seem to believe me.  "I...I have to tell you something."

I looked at him, curious.

He took a breath.  "I do blame this on myself.  Like I blamed my sisters' deaths on myself.  I should be protecting the ones I love and I couldn't...". He started crying.  "I went home to shower and the voices started coming back...they told me I was a failure, that I couldn't save them, or you, and then your voice came to me and said you didn't really love me and I was just a crazy weirdo...and I just wanted to shut them up..." he looked up at me with guilt.

"Joshua Washington...you didn't..." I knew he'd tried to hurt himself before, but ended up being hospitalized.  The look on his face told me what I'd been wondering.

"I didn't know if you were going to make it...I don't want to be here without you.  Sam showed up and fixed me, though...when she came to tell me you woke up."

I grabbed his chin and pulled him to me so that we were eye to eye.  "Listen to me, Joshua.  This is NOT your fault.  I will be fine.  And I don't know what kind of planet you're living on where I don't love you, because that's absolute bullshit."  I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as well and it broke my heart that he'd even begin to believe I didn't care.  I also owed Sam a ton for helping him.  "If you need to go back to Dr. Hill, please do it.  I can't lose you, baby.  You mean everything to me, Josh."  I pulled his face to mine and kissed him again.  He pulled away and sighed.

"I'm sorry.  I can't lose you either.  I promise, when you get out of here I'm gonna give you the date you should have gotten instead of this mess."

I laughed a little and rubbed his cheek.  "I don't need anything from you, love.  Well, that's not entirely true, but we can't be doing that right now anyway."  I gave him a mischievous smirk and licked his nose. 

He gave me a silly grin and kissed my chin.  "Trust me, (Y/n), you've got a one-way ticket to the bone zone after you're all healed.  Expect to be waited on hand and foot until then, though."

"You don't need to, Josh.  The doctor said I'll be ok in a week or so.  I just need to take it easy."  I couldn't imagine what he'd do if I let him wait on me and foot.  But somehow I had a feeling I was going to find out.

The next day, the doctor released me into Josh's care, as reluctant as I was to accept it.  He had me set up on the couch, surrounded by pillows to cushion my bruised body and to basically keep me from moving an inch without his assistance. 

"Geez, Josh, don't you think this is a bit much?  I have a few bruised ribs, I'm not in a body cast."

"Nope, nope, nope, you are going to rest and recuperate while I take care of you."

"Am I gonna get you into a nurse's outfit then?"  I laughed a little, imagining Josh in a skirt and carrying a stethoscope.

"Maybe after you've recovered...we can save that for a more...fun activity."  He walked his fingers up my arm and looked at me like he could have devoured me whole at that moment.

"Calm down, tiger...you can hold off for a week."

He gave me a fake pout and kissed my forehead.  "I know, baby...but just wait until you're better.  Are you hungry?"

"A little."  I shrugged.  My belly still hurt, so I didn't eat much over the past few days.

"Ok, I'm gonna make you some soup."  He got up and went to the kitchen.  I grabbed the remote and found some goofy movie on TV to create background noise.  A few moments later, he came back into the room with a bowl, which he carefully handed me.  Clam chowder, my favorite.  I ate slowly, but it felt good to put real food into my body and not hospital food.  When the bowl was empty, Josh took it from me and wiped a little soup that had dripped on my chin.  "Now that's a look I miss." 

"Seriously, Josh?  You fucking perv."  I tried to smack him but he moved away too quickly and I winced at the pain of my sudden movement.  "Dammit!"

He laughed and went back to the kitchen to clean up the bowl.  I laid my head on the pillows he'd set behind me and dozed off.