Eyes on You // Awsten Knight

three

Nobody had told me what love was until I met Spencer. No amount of posters on my walls or songs by heartbroken thirty year olds could ever compare to how hard this feeling hit me. I was absolutely horrified, but there was nothing in my way that could stop the crash.

Spencer and I fell together during the era when depression was considered the cool thing to have. The Black Parade was the most overplayed underground song on the face of the Western Hemisphere. At first it was a bit strange to voice out loud; the freshman dating the senior. But I realized that this was the normal thing at my school. He knew more than me. He was a musician, and strongly encouraged me to better my talents as a songwriter. He participated in the Sunday night cruises, and he was an avid smoker. He was an artist, and loved to sketch late at night.

He was everything I could have ever asked for. I loved that he was smarter than me, and more experienced than me. People thought I was cool for dating a grade twelve boy. They envied me. I knew that if he was with someone else, I'd envy her too. Within a month of us dating, I had lost my virginity to him, and that's when the real fun started.

Spencer had always wanted to play in a band. He had played in a few before, but they never reached any level of success. Upon his discovery of my singing voice, the idea just clicked for him. He was determined to create something huge. I had met quite a few of the older boy's friends already, and it just so happened that a majority of them were also musicians. The musical community at my school was always very large, and it wasn't hard to find someone who wanted to succeed in the industry. Spencer's friend Eric was the first person to reach out. Eric Stewart was someone who I would have never have come into contact with if it weren't for Spencer. He was another senior, and played guitar in the jazz band. He was classically trained, but he had more of a preference for punk music. Eric had always been quiet, but he seemed to have quite a lot to say. At first he was confused as to why a fourteen year old girl was fronting an alternative punk band, but he learned to accept me as more than just some kid with a voice. Next came Noah, the college boy. He was a really good friend of Eric's, and it took a while for me and the drummer to become close. He too was weary of me being so young, but I assumed that Spencer had talked something into him because we ended up becoming almost inseparable. Noah and I bonded quickly over similar tastes in movies and bands, and he had soon become very protective over my well-being.

Now the band had four members. The bassist, the guitarist, the drummer and myself. Flames to Dust was a name that I came up with. I heard it in a lyric once. I was surprised to find my father outraged when I brought the band up during dinner. He had always liked Spencer, but this seemed to cross a line for him.

"There is absolutely no place for kids like you in this industry!" He raved at me, pacing back and fourth across the kitchen. My mother sat across from me, her head in her hands. Not because she was unsupportive, but because of my father's actions.

"Dad, they're not kids! I'm the only child in the band, and so what? You don't even need to bother with it." I had yelled at him, my voice already horse from the argument leading up to this. My father didn't have the willpower to calm down that night, and I found myself hiding away in my room again as I did most nights. My dad loved to shout.

Loud music blasted through my speakers, making the glass of water on my wooden bedside table ripple along to the bass line. I lay on my bed, my black and grey duvet thrown across my feet. The posters on the ceiling stared down on me as I felt my eyes well up with tears. I hated crying, and I hated how often it happened. A fragile hand was knocking at my bedroom door.

"Not now!" I grumbled loudly, throwing a pillow over my face. For a heartbeat, there was no sound coming from behind the door until I heard my mothers soft voice leak throughout