Eyes on You // Awsten Knight

twelve

It was a sad awakening to realize that without Awsten, I was incredibly lonely. I was surrounded by nice people, but I couldn't find the ability to connect with any of them. Did I miss hanging out with Awsten? Of course I did, but I knew that I had made a mistake. I had to revert back to the girl he knew at the beginning of tour. I hardly spoke to him, a quick hello here and there. It was all I could do.

It made me feel terrible though. It wasn't hard to tell that it was giving him a hard time also. He wasn't hostile, but he was distant. I wanted to reach out again so we could go back to being good friends, but during the days that had passed after we kissed, Spencer made sure to drive a few things into my head. He had told me one night as we were getting ready for bed, just how full of himself Awsten was on stage.

"It's laughable, honestly. He thinks he's the shit."

I brushed his comments off with a shake of my head. I didn't want to talk about Awsten anymore, because it seemed that Spencer was more caught up on him than I was.

"Honestly, he's a pussy."

I sighed, balling my clothes up in my fist.

"Why do you care so much?" I asked, growing tired of his comments. Spencer laughed.

"It's like he's challenging me, Kitty. That's why you need to put him on edge..."

"I thought you didn't want me hanging out with him anymore." I retorted. He gave me a shrug, moving from across the aisle bunks to stand next to me.

"I don't. Maybe I just want to show you off."

Spencer continued his conversation, but I seemed to have completely tuned him out. I noticed that I had started tuning him out more often. But just as I felt myself becoming mentally distant from Spencer, he was physically closer. He accompanied me everywhere I went, every venue we were at. Every time I managed to catch sight of Awsten, I wouldn't have been able to talk to him even if I wanted to.

It had been just over a week since the last time Awsten and I had spent time together. Of course, over that week, I had taken the time to really find myself. Well, at least I took the time to go back to being a fake whore. The crowds really did love me when I acted like slut on stage. We had a late set that night, we were the last band on stage. So it was understandable that we had a bigger crowd than usual. Our crowds were normally massive, but this time, it was extreme. I was back in my mini-skirt and platforms again, and everything went as it normally did. I had developed this habit I called 'stage fucking,' which was essentially me getting up on Spencer and seeing how far we could take it until it was too inappropriate. That was always a crowd favourite. Hair pulling, waist-grabbing, and Spencer's hand around my throat were a common occurrence. But this night in particular, things took a bit of a different turn.

Jawn was flashing his camera all around the stage, and he was the only other person I noticed, until I caught sight of Awsten. He stood side-stage, accompanied by Geoff and Otto. I was incredibly shocked to see them there, and I can only assume that they were waiting for Jawn to finish up. Otto and Geoff seemed unfazed, but Awsten was having a hard time watching.

He looked so good though.

His orange muscle shirt made his arms appear all kinds of sexy, in my opinion at least. His hair wasn't in its usual swooping style, and instead was pushed up over his forehead. It was different. I liked it. I found myself glancing his way more times than I'd like to admit. He didn't notice though, and I was thankful for that. I tried my hardest to not become distracted, because I didn't want Spencer to pick up on what I was doing. In the last few minutes I was on stage, I found myself wondering if I could spare some time to talk to the blue haired singer. I questioned if he even wanted to talk to me. From his body language, it didn't really seem like it. He was avidly ignoring me, which stung a little bit. He only started paying attention when I picked up a guitar.