Eyes on You // Awsten Knight

seven

On stage, my body belonged to the crowd. Not in a weird way or anything, but it belonged to the music. I had a strong stage presence which I had adopted over the years, and I was rather proud of what it had become. I had become faithful that I wouldn't fall into a seizure on stage anymore, as that had only happened once when I was much younger.

"You guys are fucking beautiful!" I called out into the crowd, gesturing to the sea of the band's fans. I still couldn't comprehend the feeling of having fans, even after all this time. It was unimaginable.

"This next song is an old one, it's called Deep Blue."

The crowd screamed, their arms in the air. I heard Eric begin to strum away at the guitar, softly and slowly, before giving it everything. Spencer was making his rounds on stage, interacting with the first few rows. I was dancing, jumping all over the stage.

"Well then, did I disappoint you when I let your voice drown? The weight on our shoulders, won't mean shit when we're older..."

This stage didn't feel like home yet, but I would learn to own it.

"I heard you say that I would burn out today. So thank you for your ashes that will put my lungs to shame."

This is the lyric that the audience always sang, and I never understood why. I didn't remember what I wrote it about, I was only sixteen.

Towards the end of the song, I saw Awsten standing in the back of the crowd, two of his band mates at his side. He could have just come and watched the show backstage like the other bands usually did, but maybe he thought he was overstepping his boundaries. I realized that his timing was perfect, as our finally was definitely something I wanted him to see.

"We've got one more song for you Dallas. It's a cover of one of my favorite bands. This is Notorious!"

I was always impressed when people in this scene knew the song. Duran Duran wasn't really on brand of the emo kids, yet here they were, ready to sing along. The song had become a regular for us, and by god, I went hard to this song.

"I can't read about it, burns the skin from your eyes. I'll do fine without it, here's one you don't compromise. Lies come hard to disguise. Let me to fight it out, not wild about it."

I was moving slow, my hands gripped loosely around the microphone as I moved my body.

"Lay your seedy judgements, who says they're part of our lives? You own the money, you control the witness. I hear you're lonely, don't monkey with my business. You pay the profits to justify the reasons. I heard your promise but I don't believe it, that's why I'll do it again."

One of my hands was pressed against my neck my neck as I found myself up against Spencer, eliciting a screech from the audience. I noticed Awsten looking very intrigued, yet uncomfortable at the same time. Our shared photographer, Jawn, was standing at the front of the stage, frantically trying to get all of the material he could. I decided to make his job a bit easier, and crouched down to floor level, my back arched.

"Girls will keep the secrets, so long as boys make the noise. Fools run rings to break up, something they'll never destroy..."

Man, the floor was my bitch. Jawn was clicking the shutter button like a madman as the crowd lost their shit at the fact that I was crawling towards the edge of the stage. I hopped up, immediately going back over to Spencer. My hands caressed his jaw as his bass faced me. We kept our gazes heavily locked to each other as he towered over me.

"Don't ask me to bleed about it, I need this blood to survive."

Spencer bit his lip, and I knew that this tension would be released after the day was done. Awsten, on the other hand, was still standing off in the distance, his eyes wide as his two friends tried to talk to him. Eventually the song came to an end, and I gave the audience a huge bow. We walked backstage only to be met by a very excited Jawn.