Eyes on You // Awsten Knight

thirteen

(Awsten's P.o.V)

This was slowly becoming way too much for the vocalist. At first, Awsten didn't understand why the blonde haired girl had become so out of reach. He knew that the kiss they shared was probably overstepping her boundaries, but for the life of him, he couldn't understand why she had just vanished from his life.

It was only the day after when Awsten pieced everything together. She was with Spencer twenty-four-seven, and Awsten had yet to see the couple separated since the night where Awsten brought Kathy to the mural. They were all over each other, and that hurt like a bitch. For a few blissful moments, it was just him and Kathy. Everything seemed so genuine. Everything she had told Awsten let him know that she wasn't who she pretended to be, and he found himself falling hard.

But it could have all been fake.

What if she was just lying? What if she actually was the mysterious, cold-hearted person she played on stage? This is what left Awsten clueless. When they used to hang out, she seemed so real. But it could have all been an act.

He didn't want her to be on stage with him. He didn't want to be caught up with her again, because it was becoming a distraction. All he could ever think about was how mad he was at her for ditching him, or how frustrated he was for not listening to his advice about Spencer. God, he loathed Spencer. If he was taller, Awsten probably would have gone after him by now. He wished that Kathy saw how toxic Spencer really was. At first, Awsten swore to not bring up her's and Spencer's relationship, but he really wanted to shake some sense into that girl. She was so out of touch with her own feelings, because all of her feelings belonged to him. Awsten knew that this relationship had messed her up more than just her being sad about how douchey her boyfriend was being. He wished he could just be straightforward with her, as a friend should be.

He missed being her friend.

Awsten cared about her, of course, but they had such a good friendship for that short period of time. If it came down to it, he would have picked a solid friendship any day. Until she started acting weird during rehearsal.

What was she trying to do? Showing herself off like that. Did she know that it was driving him crazy? Maybe that was the point? He didn't have the faintest idea, but it was making his head hurt. He was so tense when she left the bus, and the minute he knew she was gone, he let out the loudest groan he could muster. His spine slumped over as his head fell onto his crossed arms.

"Well, what do ya know? Sexual tension." Otto had pointed out, clearly a tad bit shocked.

"Shoot me in the face, Geoff. Get it over with." Awsten was exhausted.  Why did everything have to be so complicated.

"I can't shoot you yet, we have to do that show tomorrow! Think of the crowd we'll get..." Geoff had begun to pace, talking aloud to himself. Awsten tuned him out. All he could think about was her body looming over his head.

'You're a dumbass. She's just fucking with you. Get over yourself, you blue-haired-emo-ass-grandma-lookin'-motherfucker.'

- - -

Pulling into the parking lot of the next city, I found myself excited for the day ahead. It was like a better version of the feeling you get on the first day of school. The version where you're actually looking forward to being there. It was strange for me to be this excited about playing with another band, but I was excited nonetheless. Waterpark's set was a few hours after mine, so I had a chance to change. I was going to go on stage with them in an outfit I chose, for once in my life. I had taken off my heels and exchanged them for the Converse, but kept the pink mini skirt. I had to keep them on edge just a bit. I went through the rest of my  day with nothing on my mind but this performance. Spencer didn't even notice how distracted I was, but Eric and Noah sure did.