Complicated (Pearlmethyst fanfic)

Rumors

Pearl's POV
'Wait, what..?'
A silence filled the room after Lapis said that. Ruby sat next to me, confused and stared to nothing, just like Sapphire, who was actually more shocked than confused. Peridot was quiet as well, she just looked at me and I couldn't read what she thought. Even Lapis was quiet for some time, which made more of my tears fall down.
'Why didn't you tell us earlier?' Peridot asked.
'Maybe because Jasper would tell everyone how gay Amethyst is?' Lapis asked, clearly frustrated.
'She wouldn't find out,' Peridot said, 'We can keep secrets.'
'Not all of us.' Lapis said and she looked at Ruby.
'And what's that supposed to mean?' Ruby asked, 'I'm sorry I can't keep much secrets, but you don't need to..! To..! Attack me like that!'
'I'm not attacking anyone.'
'You are!'
'No, I'm-'
'Would you like me to hug you, Pearl?' Sapphire asked. I looked at her, bit my lip, covered my face, cried even more and nodded. Sapphire quickly sat down next to me and hugged me, just like Ruby did. Peridot went to sit in front of me and hugged my legs, which made me chuckle softly.
'We shouldn't be hugging right now!' Lapis said.
'And why not?' Sapphire asked.
'Every time is a great time for a hug!' Ruby said cheerfully.
'We should focus on what to do next!' Lapis said, 'We can't let Jasper get away with this! Jasper and Amethyst! Because Amethyst is being a stupid, blind fool.'
'She isn't.' I said and I looked at Lapis, 'It's just one big misunderstanding. I don't blame her for anything she had said..'
'Please, Pearl, listen to me.' Lapis said and she came closer to me, 'What Jasper did to you is horrible. You suffered so much. We need to let her suffer as well.'
I kept quiet and waited till she continued.
'You looked like shit, these past weeks.' Lapis said, 'You didn't sleep. You were scared, frightened, you were drowning in your guilt, and you couldn't tell anyone. You felt bad, didn't you?'
'I did..'
'Do you still feel bad?'
I kept quiet.
'Lapis,' Sapphire said, 'I don't exactly understand what you're doing, but I don't like it.'
'I'm not doing anything wrong!' Lapis said, 'We just need to let Jasper feel how you felt, Pearl, but ten times worse. Hundreds of times worse!'
'Should we?' Peridot asked.
'I'm with Lapis.' Ruby said, 'We need to do something about Jasper.'
'Not only Jasper.' Lapis said, 'Amethyst as well.'
I felt my stomach turning around. I swallowed and kept listening to Lapis.
'She was also horrible to you. She was in love with you, right?' Lapis asked and she made Ruby move away from me so she could sit next to me, 'Amethyst needs to support you, not hate you! You protected her! She should be thankful.'
'Pearl told Amethyst something different first, Lapis.' Sapphire said, 'She told Amethyst that she cheated. It's only understandable Amethyst got very angry and hurt.'
'But afterwards, Miss "I-Talk-Like-An-Old-Lady-And-I-Know-Everything-Better", Pearl told Amethyst the truth. Amethyst should've believed her. And if not, it's not a reason to call Pearl a slut! Pearl's nothing like a slut!' Lapis looked at me again, 'You're nothing like a slut, believe me. Wasn't Amethyst your first?'
I looked away, a bit embarrassed.
'Maybe we should give it a-'
'Give it a rest?!' Lapis said before Peridot finished her sentence, 'And then? What's next?'
'M-maybe we can talk about it. And clear up the misunderstandings, or we should have more proof that Jasper actually assaulted Pearl.'
Lapis kept quiet for some seconds, and looked at Peridot, not believing what she heard. 'Are you saying you don't believe Pearl?' she asked softly with a not understanding and angry look on her face.
'W-what? O-of course I b-believe Pearl! B-but, y-you know, A-Amethyst doesn't.. I j-just thought-'
'Honestly, Peridot, why would someone like Pearl ever lie about something like this?'
There was a silence.
'Jasper needs to get the punishment she deserves.' Lapis continued, 'Not only for this, but also for Topaz, and everyone she hurt before. And Amethyst made a very, very big mistake as well. She should pay for it as well. How could she be such a bitch to you?'
'Amethyst isn't a bitch.' I said and I started to get angry.
'You shouldn't come up for such a baby like Amethyst.' Lapis said, 'She isn't worth it. You're way better than her. After all, this could all be prevented if Amethyst just learned to close the fucking door behind her ass, but even that's too hard for her.'
'You're being very mean, Lapis.'
'I'm not even close! Can we just talk about the fact that she basically took you from us? We were so close and then you had this secret relationship with her-'
'You always said you liked Amethyst as well!'
'Lapis, I think you need to stop.' Ruby said.
'You, Pearl, all of you, need to understand what she did! To all of us!' Lapis said, 'Amethyst should feel bad, not you! She said horrible things to you! She's the one that made you cry! You were only trying to help, you went through a terrible period and she doesn't even care! She only thinks about herself! She's just a selfish, little crybaby!'
'You're the only selfish little crybaby here, Lapis!' I shouted. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I got up and walked outside the room. I closed the door louder than I expected and I wanted to walk away, but instead, I sat down on the grass in front of Sapphire's house. I covered my face and tried not to cry. Not even a minute later, Peridot walked outside. I quickly glanced at her and then looked away again, made sure she didn't see my face. She sat down next to me.
'Are you, eh, do you, eh, are, er..' She couldn't find the right words to say.
I didn't say anything.
'Lapis just feels very bad for you.' Peridot said, 'She didn't mean what she said.'
'Of course she did, you know that too.'
Peridot kept quiet for some seconds. 'I mean, yeah, she meant it, but she didn't want to say it out loud. Well, maybe, but- Wait, I'm making it worse- I mean, Lapis, eh, Lapis was trying to be nice. In her own weird "Lapis" way.'
'So?'
'So, eh.. She tried to help you.'
'I know. She wasn't wrong. I don't understand why I got so hurt by what she said.'
'You're Pearl, of course you got hurt.' I looked at her. 'I mean! Eh, like, y-you're nice! And you understand it wouldn't be fair if you hurt Amethyst, right? I m-mean, she hurt you, but.. How do I say this.. Maybe.. If you told her in a different way, eh.. Maybe..'
'She should've believed me.'
Peridot looked at me.
'Lapis is right.' I continued, 'She loved me. I would never lie to her about something like that.'
'But you kind of lied to her, for a very long time.'
'What do you mean?'
'You lies about being okay. It was kind of annoying...'
'I couldn't do something else! I had too.. I also feel bad about it! And I'm very sorry.. And I told her multiple times.'
'Why won't you give it a rest..? Just, try to calm down, you and Amethyst, and Lapis, and wait what the future has in store.'
'Jasper still needs to suffer.'
Peridot kept quiet for some seconds again. 'Y-you're beginning to sound like Lapis.' she softly said.
'And you act like Sapphire! You don't know what I've been through! Lapis is right, Jasper needs to suffer.'
'You're acting very strange, P.'
'I'm not.'
'You are.'
'I'm not.'
'You are!'
Again, there was a silence.
'Do you know how guilty I feel..?' I softly asked, 'I know I did things wrong. I know I could've did better things. But I'm not the only one who made mistakes. And I'm definitely not the only one who will suffer.'