Complicated (Pearlmethyst fanfic)

Daddy's Little Girl

Pearl's POV
I almost couldn't walk. But I needed to get home somehow. I ruined it. I really fucking ruined it. Tears didn't stop coming. I'm so selfish. I'm so incredibly selfish!
I saw my home, just some steps away from me. I dried my tears but it was useless. I wanted to put my key into the keyhole but the door already opened. My dad. I looked straight into the joyful eyes of my dad. He looked really happy to see. He probably just woke up, he still wore his pajamas and his hair looked like he haven't brushed it yet. I saw how quickly his joy drifted away when he noticed I had cried. I tried to keep strong but I gave up way too quickly and started crying again. My dad gasped and he quickly put his arms around me. We stepped inside, he closed the door and I almost immediately fell on the ground. My dad quickly sat down next to me.
'Shh..' he shushed and I hold him tightly, 'Calm down, dear..'
I looked at my dad. He smiled but his eyes screamed worriedness all over the place, and he softly wiped my tears away. They didn't come back this time.
'What is going on?' he asked.  I could totally notice he was way more worried than I thought. I didn't answer.
'Pearl?' my dad asked, a bit stricter.
I swallowed. 'Is mom home?' I asked softly. My dad looked startled by that question.
'Not yet.' he then said, a bit careful.
I nodded. I knew it would be better to tell my dad first. He wouldn't make such a big problem out of it if I didn't want him to. My mother, on the other hand, would have a huge talk with Amethyst's mother, and with school because of Jasper and I maybe would have to go back to VSA because of all the mean, scary and dangerous people that are on Diamond High.
'Dad..?' I asked softly, 'If I tell you, will you please not tell mom?'
My father kept quiet for some seconds.
'We'll see, okay?' he asked.
Now I kept quiet. Then I nodded.
My father helped me and we walked to the living room. There was a long silence.
'Amethyst and I broke up.' I started and I began to cry again. My dad quickly put his arms around me.
'Oh, honey..' he softly and clearly sad because I was sad as well, 'Did she broke up with you just now?'
I shook my head. 'I told her I cheated.'
I pressed my face into his chest. My dad was startled again.
'You cheated?' he asked. I raised my shoulders and nodded. I tried to stop crying.
'T-there was this girl, some weeks ago, and s-she started touching me..' I started, 'A-and after school, she took me to the back of the school, and she touched me again. I told her I didn't want to, dad, I really didn't want to!' I sounded desperate, like my father would never believe me, 'But she said that if I would tell anyone, she would tell everyone that me and Amethyst.. M-made out, and she would tell Amethyst is attracted to girls. If I didn't cooperate it would be my fault Amethyst's life would be ruined, so I told her she was allowed to do everything.' I hold my dad even tighter and cried onto his shoulder.
'You've been sexually assaulted...' he muttered softly, probably not aware he said it out loud. I shook my head.
'She was allowed to do everything.'
'But you didn't want to and were threatened.' I've never heard my dad talking with such an empty voice. I looked at him, a bit scared of his tone. He looked back, tears in his eyes.
'Oh, my poor baby..' he almost cried and he hold me close. For the first time I didn't cry. I was a bit shocked. I knew my dad could get a bit emotional sometimes, but now he was broken. His little girl got assaulted. The thought made me tear up as well. I suddenly felt bad for telling him. We just hold each other for some minutes.
'Amethyst didn't believe me..' I softly said.
'What do you mean?' my dad asked.
'That I didn't want to..'
My dad kept quiet. Even more tears in my eyes.
'I messed up, dad. I went to her and told her I cheated. She didn't believe that it was against my will. S-she called me a slut!' I started crying again. My dad softly caressed my back.
'You're not a slut.' he whispered.
'Well, then I'm not trustable.' I cried, 'An untrustable, stupid, selfish slut.'
'Hey!' my dad said incredibly strictly and I got scared of the sudden raise in his voice. He carefully tilted my head so I looked at him.
'Don't you dare to talk about my daughter like that.'
I smiled weakly and wiped my tears away.
'It's true..' I whispered.
'It's not.' my dad said, 'And I don't want you to talk like that about yourself, ever again, understood?'
I kept quiet. We both kept quiet.
'When did it happen?' my dad asked.
'I'm not sure.. Probably more than six weeks ago..'
'Is that why you acted so strange lately?'
I nodded. 'I couldn't sleep because of it..' I said softly, 'I kept getting nightmares, thinking about the things I did, and what would happen because of it..'
'Why didn't you tell me earlier?' my dad asked softly.
'I wasn't allowed to tell.' I said, 'Otherwise she'll tell as well.'
'How would she know you told me?'
I kept quiet. Then I raised my shoulders.
'Were you embarrassed?'
That question hit me harder than I thought it would.
'Ashamed.' I whispered.
My dad smiled weakly and put my head on his shoulder.
'You know we have to tell your mother about this, right?' my dad asked.
'B-but if we both just forget about it..' I tried. My dad looked at me.
'We can, but we won't.' he said, 'Your mother need to know about this.'
I nodded softly. 'Can't you tell her about it..?' I asked softly.
My dad kept quiet for some seconds. 'No.' he said, 'This is something you need to tell your mother. What are you afraid of?'
I raised my shoulders.
'We love you.' he said, 'We both do, so incredibly much, you know that? We will always be there for you, and we want to help you, okay? Your mom would appreciate it if you would tell it.'
I nodded. There was a silence.
'Wanna bake something?' my dad asked.
'Bake?' I repeated.
'Cookies or something. You like baking, right?'
'I do..'
'Well then, let's bake! We probably still have flour stuff, huh? Flour, sugar, milk, what do you need for cookies?'
I smiled softly.
'I would really like some self-made cookies now.' he said and he smiled. I did too. He kissed my head and walked towards the kitchen. I followed him. He grabbed some stuff, and I grabbed the stuff he forgot. My dad played with the cookie cutters for a while, while I started making the dough.
'Didn't you tell me you had lots of tests upcoming week?' my dad asked to start a conversation.
'Lots, lots..' I said, 'Five.'
'Going to be okay?'
'Yes, I've studied pretty well.'
'Great.'
We kept quiet again. I wanted to get the cookie cutters and my dad started smiling.
'Let me help you.' he said and he got up. I smiled as well. He grabbed some flour and sprinkled it around the dough. He grinned, put more on his hand and blew it away.
'My god, dad, that's really gross.' I said and I smiled, 'Now all the cookies will have your saliva in it.'
'That's okay, I'm the only one who will eat them.'
'You thought.'
My dad grinned again and blew some more flour, right in my face. I gasped and looked at him.
'My clothes!' I said and I looked at myself. My shocked look turned into a slight grin. I also grabbed flour and blew it his way. I laughed. He did as well, grabbed flour again and threw it at me. I tried to procect myself with my arms and kept laughing. He did as well. We kept throwing flour at each other for some minutes, till we noticed how the whole kitchen became a mess because of the flying flour. We looked at each other, both white because of the flour.
'Mom's going to kill us if she sees this.' I whispered.
'If, yes.' my dad grinned, 'You'll make the cookies, I'll clean.'
I smiled and nodded. I grabbed some dough and looked at the cookie cutters. We have lots of them. We have basic circles, squares, trees and flowers, little people. My eye stopped at one particular cutter. A heart. Love. I don't know why it was so hard to look away, even though it hurt. My hands were shaking, and I slowly grabbed it and softly pressed it into the dough. T-that went good, right? Why am I doing this? This is stupid. Unrealistic. The thing that happens in movies, just to make it more dramatic and show how hurt you actually are because even a stupid cookie cutter makes you cry. Just grab a tree or something, why did you need to use the heart? It's just a cutter. I slowly pulled it out of the dough, but the dough was probably still too sticky, even though there was lots of flour on it, and it slowly ripped. The perfect heart broke. Tears filled my eyes. Shit. Why am I crying? Why do I feel like crying? This is stupid, I'm stupid. The heart. It's broken. Ripped apart. I ruined the perfect heart.
Angrily, I grabbed the broken piece of dough, mashed it into each other, threw it away and actually started crying. My dad looked up and when I wanted to fall onto the ground again, he hold me tightly and helped me standing.
'Hey, hey, calm down.' he said quickly and I cried onto his shoulder.
'I broke Amethyst's heart!' I cried, 'I did, I did, I'm bad, I did...'
My dad hold me even tighter, kissed my head and softly caressed my back for some minutes, till he was sure I calmed down. I looked at him, face wet of my tears. He wiped them away and grabbed the heart formed cookie cutter.
'Look.' he said. He hold my hands, he put the heart into my hands and with my hands in his, he slowly pressed the cutter into the dough. He carefully pulled it out again and showed the heart, which also ripped for a bit but my dad quickly fixed it.
I looked at him with tears in my eyes.
'Look.' he said, 'Isn't it pretty?'
I smiled softly.
'Yes. Really pretty.'