A Little Bit of Chaos, and a Whole Lot of Love | A Collection of Malec One Shots

gone

in which alec goes missing.

~

"Did you get anything?" Magnus asked frantically, panic coursing through his veins.

"I'm sorry, Magnus. I'm trying but...." Catarina's voice trailed off as her face contorted with concentration. Magnus looked at her hopefully, but felt every ounce of faith he had in him disappear as her features relaxed to form a look of disappointment.

"I really am sorry, Magnus." She said, reaching forward to place her hand reassuringly on Magnus's shoulder, her other hand tightly clutching Alec's shirt.

Magnus knew that she was just being kind; that she was just trying to help him, but in that moment he didn't want kindness, or pity. He wanted his Alexander.

Magnus could feel the rage rising within him. He tried to stop it, but controlling his emotions was impossible at the moment.

"Damn it, Cat!" He snapped, roughly shoving her hand off his shoulder. "You're just not looking hard enough!" He continued.

The other warlock's reaction was immediate. Her face contorted again, in pain this time, and she turned away slightly.

"I know you didn't mean that, Magnus." She said quietly.

Seeing her hurt, guilt immediately washed through Magnus. "You're right." He said, much more gentle this time. "I didn't mean that. It's just...." He trailed off, at a loss for words.

For the first time ever, Magnus Bane didn't know what to say.

"I understand." Cat said, and it was clear from the look in her eyes that she truly, honestly did. "But we will find him, Magnus. Whatever it takes."

Magnus looked at her, unsure but hopeful. He wanted to believe her, more than anything, but it had been days since Alexander had disappeared, and there was no clue as to where he was.

His siblings - even Clary and Simon - were trying just as hard to look for him as Magnus was, constantly on the watch for that familiar mop of black hair, tracking him as much as they could, always keeping an eye on Jace's parabatai bond, and getting their hands on every map they could possibly obtain as they searched every nook and cranny they could spot.

But there was only so much they could do.

Not trusting himself to speak, Magnus simply nodded and managed a watery smile for his friend. She nodded in response and walked away, clearly understanding that Magnus needed to be alone right now.

Magnus was grateful to everyone who was trying to look for Alexander. But at the same time, he hated himself.

Because there was nothing he could do.

Ever since Magnus had given up his magic to save Jace's life, he had felt incomplete; useless. Especially right after he returned from Edom, only to find his boyfriend lying on the ground with a broken arm and an arrow through his chest.

That single incident had surpassed Magnus's worst nightmares, even the ones that had haunted him since he was a little boy. The fear that all his efforts to save a part of Alec had been a waste, that he would lose his Alexander anyway, it was insurmountable. Or so he thought.

Because this was worse. This was much, much worse.

At least then, Alec had been with him. They had been able to hold each other, guide each other through their suffering, assure each other that no one was going anywhere; that they were going to be right here no matter what.

But now? Now his Alexander was somewhere alone, probably being tortured. And Magnus wasn't with him to be there for him, to save him. Even worse, there was nothing he could do to find a way to get to Alec.

The thought that constantly plagued Magnus's mind, however, was not that Alec was being tortured. Because he knew that Alexander was strong. He knew that he would find a way to survive.

But that didn't mean he was unbreakable.

And that thought terrified Magnus. The fact that, any moment, Jace could collapse in pain and show up at Magnus's loft, tears streaming down his face as he told Magnus that Alec...that Alec was gone.

No. Magnus told himself. He couldn't afford to think like that, not right now.

Magical or not, he was going to find a way to save his Alexander. And whoever had taken him....well, let's just say that Magnus Bane was a terrifying entity, one that was not to be messed with.

×××

[a/n:]

i'm gonna be honest with y'all here: this note is something i'm writing months after the update. it's quite possibly even been a year.

this was supposed to have a lot of chapters. i don't know what it is anymore. i don't even remember what the plot line was supposed to be. or why i tried to write a chaptered fic in the middle of a collection of one shots.

i know this is stupid - irresponsible of me, and i'm really sorry. at the same time, i don't wanna take this down for no reason. so i guess i'm just sorry this isn't finished :/

all the love,
dana.