A Little Bit of Chaos, and a Whole Lot of Love | A Collection of Malec One Shots

everything but time

in which magnus' predicament dawns upon him, and alec realizes magnus has given him everything he could ever need, except one thing.

~

[Magnus]

For as long as he could remember, Magnus Bane had always been the stable, more mature one during the course of his relationship with Alexander. Except for when it came to one thing.

His immortality.

Of course, Alexander didn't know that. And it was Magnus's fault. He had put up a brave, grand facade of being wise and accepting that nothing could be done about the matter.

But the truth was that he was terrified. He was terrified of losing Alexander, his shadowhunter. Never had he been loved as much as he was now, never would he be loved as much. Never had he loved anyone as much as he loved Alexander. And, deep down, he knew that he would never, ever be able to love someone that much again.

He didn't regret not telling Alexander any of this, though. He was worried enough about the matter without Magnus adding on to his pain.

At least, Magnus thought he didn't regret it. But he did now. Very, very much.

Magnus's glass of wine crashed ear-splittingly on the floor, staining the white carpet a deep red. Magnus payed it no heed. He clenched his fist as all the anger, pain, agony, flowed through him. He had kept these feelings pent up for too long, and it was taking its toll.

It had all started when the fights between him and Alexander began. Which, of course, had been about Magnus's immortality.

The last few weeks, Alec was always the one to have an outburst and either yell and storm away or start crying. Magnus was the calm one. The one who reassured Alec that nothing could be done. The one who told Alec to simply make the most of the time they had together.

Right now, Magnus regretted his own words more than ever.

He knew that, while he told Alexander all of those things, he was lying through his teeth. After Alexander was gone, nothing would ever be the same again.

Magnus would never be the same again.

He let out a cry of rage as he swept his hand across his desk, the framed pictures of him and Alec crashing to the ground. While the pictures remained exactly the same, the frames shattered to pieces, which only reminded Magnus of how he would be after Alexander was gone. His love for Alec was the photographs - everlasting. He was the frames.

Looking at the photographs on the floor, regret and guilt washed over Magnus. With a snap of his fingers, the pictures were stacked neatly on his desk again. But, for some reason, he couldn't bear to frame them, or even look at them for the moment. So he neatly tucked them away into a drawer of his desk.

He let out a sigh. His anger wasn't gone; far from it. But he had calmed down enough to realize that what came next wasn't any better.

The crying.

He tried his best to stop himself, to keep the tears at bay. Even so, a stray tear slipped down his cheek. Instantly, he knew exactly what he needed right now.

He needed Alexander.

Magnus knew that him and Alec were supposed to be angry at each other right now. He hadn't actually spoken to Alexander in a while. But he needed him more than anything right now, no matter what the circumstances.

Having made up his mind, Magnus pulled his coat on, and made his way towards the Institute.

-

[Alec]