A Little Bit of Chaos, and a Whole Lot of Love | A Collection of Malec One Shots

i can feel his pain

a different perspective.

~

He wakes up with a start. 

Instantly, his hand goes to his waist, where his parabatai rune is throbbing faintly. That isn't what woke him up, though.

It's the intense waves of worry rolling through him that did. 

It's been happening almost every night since Magnus was admitted to the Institute's infirmary. He might not be Alec, but he understands his brother's pain. Alec hasn't been sleeping at night, he knows that; his parabatai just stays up, worrying incessantly over something that's entirely out of his control. 

He hates it. 

He hates how Alec's mind is at such unease, he hates how Magnus is only just barely breathing, but, most of all, he hates how all of this is because of him. 

"Jace?" Clary asks softly. He startles, but calms down almost immediately, when a small but comforting hand comes to rest on his shoulder.

"What is it?" She inquires quietly, but he just shakes his head in response. She knows what's going on, it's happened every day for the past week, and she's woken up every single time. 

"The same thing." He tells her roughly, rubbing a tired hand over his face before he sighs, and hauls himself out of bed. 

"What- where are you going?" She sits up in bed, her golden red hair falling in soft curls as she shuffles in her position, framing her face as she looks up him with wide, curious eyes. He smiles, the expression endearing, and brings a hand to her face, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear before shaking his head reassuringly.

"Just....outside." He says. "Clear my head a little." 

She nods in understanding, flopping back onto the bed, her eyes closing immediately. It's been a long day for everyone at the Institute, especially with everything that's been going on. 

Outside, the halls of the Institute are silent, except for the sound of his footsteps bouncing off the long, dusty walls. It's been a while since he's done this, just gone for a stroll in the middle of the night. Well before he met Clary. He only used to do it when he couldn't settle his mind, but then again, this was one of those times as well.

Suddenly, he hears footsteps.

Slowly, his hand drifts to the pocket of his sweatpants, where he always keeps his stele ready. He can't go fetch any weapons right now, but he's confident that he can hold off - if not fight - the intruder for a few moments, at least until backup arrives. Using his stele is just a precautionary measure. 

Whoever the other person, or creature, is, they're clearly barefooted, judging from the sofa pads of their footfall. Jace can see their shadow from the faint moonlight streaming in through one of the glazed windows, high enough that the window itself is almost obscured from sight. It appears to be a girl, judging from the stature, although that could just be an illusion-

"Izzy?" He asks, surprised, as the supposed intruder comes into his line of vision. She stops in her tracks, facing him with wide eyes, looking just as surprised as he feels right now. 

"Jace?" She says, her eyebrows meeting in the middle of her forehead in confusion. "What are you doing awake?" 

"I could ask you the same thing." He retorts, feigning nonchalance as he takes a step towards her. Izzy, however, isn't fooled - she wouldn't be Izzy if she was - and tilts her head sideways knowingly.

"Alec's not sleeping, is he?" She asks, her voice filled with regret and worry.

He shakes his head no. 

"He's worrying." He admits, sighing heavily, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Panicking, I think. That's what woke me up." He tells her. 

"Should we go check on him?"

"I want to, Iz, but that might not be the best idea." He confesses. "Remember what happened last time?" He reminds her. She purses her lips at the memory, nodding.

About two days ago, he'd gone to check on Alec - who was awake and terrified, much like right now - only to find Izzy already there. Alec had been furious, and although his anger was only just barely concealed, it was obviously there.

More than that, however, there had been shame. Jace didn't even want to imagine why Alec felt ashamed to be weak in front of his siblings, but with the state of mind Alec was in, he wasn't about to question it. 

"And you?" Izzy asks, jutting her chin towards him. "How are you? How's Clary?" She questions, levelling her gaze with his. 

"Clary's fine. And so am I." He tells her, pausing for a moment before continuing. "But that's not important right now. Alec is. And Magnus."

Izzy sighs.

"Yeah." She agrees quietly, her eyelids fluttering as she suppresses a yawn. Jace shakes his head. 

"Go to sleep, Iz." He tells her fondly. 

"But what about you?" She asks in a small voice.

He smiles.

"I'm going to bed, too, okay?" He assures her, waiting for her to nod and head down the hallway before he turns back to Clary's bedroom. 

Alec's calmed down relatively, enough to convince Jace that there's nothing more to worry about, at least for now. He stumbles into his room, exhaustion taking over as he clambers into bed, wrapping a loose arm around Clary, who snuggles into his touch immediately.

He has no doubt that tomorrow will bring a fresh set of worry, a new wave of panic, but for now, there's nothing more he can do about it other than sleep. 

×××

[a/n:]

this was a bit strange, but definitely very interesting to write. i've never written anything from jace's perspective before; it's always been alec's, and occasionally magnus'.

oh, well. there's a first time for everything, i suppose.

come catch me on twitter, so we can yell about everything and nothing together: @

all the love,
dana.