Pretend I'm Screaming This

Spare Time

When people ask me in interviews what I like to do with my spare time, I tell them I like to write.

 Or hang out with my friends or go to the gym or just do normal people stuff.

Because they're interviewing you, and they don't want to hear about what you really do in your spare time. 

Because in my spare time, I like to hide. 

I like to sit in movie theatres by myself and watch the same movie I watched the night before because I have a cineworld unlimited card and I like big dark rooms. 

In my spare time I like to sit on the field by my house with a good friend and a few spliffs and talk and talk about the stuff we missed over the last few weeks. 

In my spare time I like to go to my favourite cafe where my friend works and trick her into giving me free drinks while I distract her from her customers and piss her off. 

In my spare time, I like to dream about when I get a car. I want one where the roof comes down like they have in california, and drive wherever the hell I want whenever the hell I want. Until I run out of gas, or start to miss my dog. 

In my spare time I like to hang out with my dog. It sounds really lame because it is, but I never have to put a lead on her, because she always walks smiling up at me. 

In my spare time I like to think about what the next few months are going to hold for me. 

Will I finally get one of the hundreds of jobs I've applied to? Will I get the grades I needed? Will I meet someone that I will argue with for taking their damn time to find me? 

In my spare time I have bad days. 

Where I don't eat or talk to anyone or even get out of bed. And it sucks.

 In my spare time I like to eat, and sleep, a lot. 

In my spare time I like to watch slam poetry videos on youtube to get inspired. 

In my spare time I like to read select chapters of my own book aloud to myself and perform poetry for my dog. 

In my spare time I like to imagine outfits in my head with clothes I don't actually own. 

In my spare time I like to beg my parents for money to buy clothes. 

In my spare time I like to go to breakfast with my dad. And sometimes he brings his girlfriend along and I'm okay with that. 

In my spare time I like to go to parties and get too drunk and tell myself that I'm just a social smoker. 

In my spare time I like to remind myself about the things thats happened in my life that have helped create me. 

In my spare time I like to imagine what I really want my instagram feed to look like. 

In my spare time I like to send tweets of hot guys to my friend because she's the only other person I know that appreciates Cole Sprouse and 90's Leonardo DiCaprio the same way as me.

In my spare time I like to watch way to much netflix. 

In my spare time I like to get youtube up on the TV and sing away the afternoon even though I suck. 

In my spare time I like to sit in my best friends living room, and force our guy friend to watch Geordie Shore or Keeping Up With The Kardashians or whatever stupid reality show she has recorded. 

In my spare time I like to think how we see our guy friend as the stupid sweetheart that watches reality shows with us when other girls see him as a player that can break a heart. 

In my spare time I like to think about how I think I'm not doing anything with my life. And then I look at how much I've already done and know that I'm doing okay. 

In my spare time I like to be okay. And I think that pretty much sums it up.