Pretend I'm Screaming This

I've Got This Friend

A little while ago my friend tried to set me up with one of our closest friends.

We'd known him for about a year, and as we sat in a subway trying to wait out the rain to have a cigarette, I began to wonder if I could ever fall for him.

Throughout the next couple months I got to know him even better.

To every other girl he was a player. A 6 foot heartbreaker with a talent for taking mirror selfies but to us he was a secret reality show watcher with burger nipples and was even better at goofy pictures in the dark.

He sometimes calls me up after the suns gone down, and ten minutes later I find him walking towards me with a bottle of whatever alcohol he can find.

And as the night draws on and I've stolen too much drink off him and he's begged too many cigarettes off me, he'll walk me back to exactly where he found me, and leave me to figure out the rest of the way home myself.

For some reason he came into my dream last night.

I hadn't seen him in a while but suddenly we were dancing in the kitchen when the lights turned off and we sat giggling on the floor.

It was pitch black in that room but somehow we'd managed to lock eyes.

And even though the lights turned back on and my dream began to twist like they always did, when I woke up I thought about that moment.

The unrealistic made up moment in my head and began asking myself if I would of gone through with it.

I found myself making a pros and cons list in my head for something that wasn't even real.

But that night I found myself on the phone to his voicemail wanting to ask him to meet me at the train station with a bottle of alcohol,

Like we always do.