I got that reckless feeling again.
The one where I burn up my arms and my lungs, scream into the darkness.
I'd finally looked past my own past, but it always comes back.
Everything. Comes. Back.
With one message, you make or break a person.
But the thing is, you think you forget. You put your focus on everything else, but it's still sitting backseat. Once things settle, you realize things. You realize how someone really was once you move miles away. You realize how shit things got, you realize how much you had to put up with.
And with one message, someone can make or break it.
One message.
And that one message reminded me why I don't say anything to anyone about how I really feel.
It reminded me why I almost forgot why I repressed those memories.
The ones of darkness, fear, depression.
I can't ever look at myself with admiration because somehow, someway, I've failed someone.
Because I weaken the worse and destroy the best, and I have this sinking feeling in my chest that I will never be anywhere near the best but it is what it is and I'll leave it to rest.
