12:30 AM, 3/8/19

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The problem is I wasn't supposed to be alive this long.

The problem is I had no back up plan if l survived this long.

And the twitching started back up.

The subtle annoyance over my eyelid, the sudden jerky movement of my hands.

Maybe I should've made a back up plan.

Maybe I should've succeeded.

Maybe I should shut the fuck up for once and let happiness happen.

But I still don't trust it.

So I savor it. I hold it close knowing one day it'll be my last and this is what I want to keep from my past.

My memory box is deteriorated, but I've patched it up enough to save a few faces.

Yours isn't one of them and I'm both scared and thankful of that fact.

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