Hells Angel

Part 20

Matt quickly enveloped me in a hug, squeezing me tightly. I shook him off with a nervous smile.

I was never a girl to have boys 'falling all over me'. But I currently had two boys in my house. One of whom was my 'boyfriend' and the other was my 'it's-complicated-and-I'd-rather-not-think-about-it-right-now." And I only wanted one of them to stay.

Funny how it should be my boyfriend.

Funny how it isn't.

"Hey Matt," I greeted, "How was training last night?"

t paying much attention as I was working out how I could explain to Matt why Nash was in my room this early in the morning. If he saw Nash then he was clearly going to know that he stayed the night.

I couldn't ruin the relationship between me and Matt, no matter how much I liked Nash, I wasn't a heartbreaker, I wasn't a player.

I had to sneak Nash out.

"Hey can you hold that thought?" I asked, "I just wanna get out of my pajamas."

Matt looked me up and down, chuckling as he realised I wasn't dressed yet.

I told him to make himself comfortable in the living room and quickly excused myself, scurrying upstairs.

I pushed my door open, my eyes locking with Nash's, he visibly relaxed when he saw that I had finally returned.

How the hell was I supposed to kindly tell him to get out.

"Hey, I was wondering where you had gone!" He smiled brightly, "Who was at the..?"

His question fell short when he saw the conflicted and apologetic expression on my face.

He looked down at his hands, "It's Matt isn't it?"

I nodded slowly, avoiding his piercing gaze.

"Perfect," his voice cracked a little with the sarcasm.

"Nash I-" I began but he cut me off,

"Nah, I get it," he waved his hands around, "Your boyfriends here now, you don't need me anymore, I'll just leave." He glared at me, his previous high spirits diminishing rapidly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm supposed to do," I rubbed my eyes, trying to wipe away my confusion.

"Neither do I," he said harshly, "But kicking me out is clearly what's gonna end up happening so I'll save you the bother of having to throw me to the curb and just leave." His venomous words cut like a knife.

Nash walked over to my window, opening it again like we had earlier, he swung his leg back, looking at me again,

"Is this always how it's gonna be?" He asked, his voice cold, his lips pressed into a thin line, "You and Matt together while I sit on the sidelines, forever wishing I had made a move sooner?"

"Nash, I thought we were becoming friends?" I asked, swallowing the lump on my throat. I couldn't understand why he was being so unfair about this.

"Friends? Us?" He scoffed, "Yeah, because that would ever work out. I'm not gonna be your second choice anymore, I'm tired of playing games, it's me or him." His eyes looked through me.

"I can't just leave him," I said quietly, cursing myself for not running straight into Nash's arms while the offer stood.

"Well then I guess you choose him," I swear I saw his eyes fill with tears but he quickly blinked them away.

He ducked his head out the window, not bothering to look back in my direction.

I have no idea why, but I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces for this angry, complex boy.

I thought about crying, it's what I wanted to do. Just sit down, curl up into a ball and feel sorry for myself. Maybe call Mahogany and explain everything, pour my heart down the phone line.

But instead, I stifled the growing sob and just sniffled softly before gathering the shattered remains of my dignity and shuffling back downstairs to Matt.

I slouched on the couch as Matt launched back into another story, one that would usually make me laugh, but I didn't feel like laughing.

I found myself zoning out, his words becoming a soft hum of background noise. I was trying to shuffle through my thoughts. But I couldn't seem to focus, I couldn't think straight. All I could think about was the fact that no matter how hard I tried to ignore the pulsing in my chest, I was desperately craving Nash.

I told myself I hated him but I couldn't help but feel this way. But I guess it didn't matter anyway, just when I could see something, anything happening between us. I blew it.

And as I stared at the clock on the wall droning;

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

At the same beats of my heart.

And then I knew, if Nash hadn't hated me before, he sure did now.

A/N - So thanks for reading! My tumblr is magconexposed and my 5SOS tumblr is fromlukey! My 5SOS fanfic will be up very soon (I'm still deciding between Ashton and Luke for main characters!)