Synthetic Heart

Chapter 8: Banned From Breaking Hearts

You and Paul walked along the streets in silence after your dinner, letting the glow of lamplight's keep you aware. You felt like you were in a trance as you walked, a certain emotional distance between you and Paul.

You thought you could fall for him, but maybe you were too cynical...Or hopeful. You were still stuck with Vision in your heart.

You turned to Paul, opening our lips to tell him you couldn't have a relationship with him at this point in time, not until you had sorted everything in your life out, but then you shut your lips. Did he even think of you that way? It was likely, from the way he acted around you, but you didn't know him well. He could just think of you as a friend.

Paul stopped walking when he realized you had, turning to you on the damp sidewalk.

"(Y/N)?" You opened and closed your mouth a few times, unable to form the words you wanted. He tilted his head, concern and confusion obvious in the furrow of his brows and the downward curl of his lips. How did you tell him? Did you tell him at all?

How do you admit to yourself that you were hopelessly in love with an android that you would never let yourself have?

"Paul...I - I don't think I'm ready to lo-" The illusion fizzled out before your eyes with the roar of an engine.

One moment, he's perfect and everything you had ever wanted in a man and the next he was sopping wet and no longer a man - if he ever was to begin with.

"Paul...you're...You liar!" Your voice cracked in wet anger, tears burning your eyelids threateningly. "You tricked me!" You burst at him, finger pointed accusingly at his face. It was red and no doubt filled with wires, river eyes ringed with target shots like a weapon.

He had the gall to look guilty.

"(Y/N)...Please, forgive me, I only - "

"You only took advantage of me, bastard." You hissed like a fussy cat. "You knew I wouldn't talk to you, so you lied to me instead. How am I supposed to talk to a liar, Vision?!"

"You're right. I lied to you for my own benefit." He admitted, looking down in his own self-disappointment. "I thought if I could get you to love a humanoid version of me, you could learn to accept that I am not. I am an android, (Y/N), but you've been putting me in a box that does not define who I am."

You were speechless, realizing you had been stereotyping him. You had made him out to be emotionless and mechanic, instead of the person he actually was. He was not a robot. He was originally an AI turned synthetic being. He was intelligent and emotional and complex just as you were.

"I never said I didn't love you, Vision..." You licked your lips, holding back tears as you crossed your arms. "I'm just not ready to love you and get my heartbroken because of an order again. I don't know if I ever will."

"(Y/N)..." He sighed, looking at you with such desperation in those blue-green eyes that you had to look away. "I learnt from my past mistakes. I've regretted my actions ever since our kiss. I just wanted to show you...I wanted to show you that we could be happy if you gave us a chance." He took a few steps towards you, hand extended but you shook your head, pausing his steps.

It was like airport all over again. His hand offered to you and eyes kind and waiting for you to spill everything you've ever wanted. You knew all of it would only hurt you in the end.

"No...I can't give you a chance. Not yet...Possibly not ever." You whispered, heart torn between falling into his arms and running far away as possible.

"Please, (Y/N)." The plead split your heart in two.

"Goodbye Vision." You turned around...

And you ran as far away as possible.

8