I'm fine, right? (Crush x depressed reader)

Chapter 2

A/n: (Y/n)- your name     BF/n- best friends name      (C/n)- crushes name     (FE/n)- Frenemy name (h/c)- hair colour      (e/c)- eye colour     (N/n)- Nickname     (B/n)- brother's name

(Y/n) P.O.V

RING! RING! ~Time skip to the end of school~

I somehow managed to evade (BF/n) today, but that is just today, what do I do if he/she sees me tomorrow and asks me then? I don't want to burden her/him with my problems, they have their own to deal with and I am not that important either, but why do I feel bad about it? So.... Guilty.

I am Useless... Worthless... Pathetic piece of existence... Waste of breath... That's all I am. Someone else could live a better life in my position, if they lived my life and I didn't exist everyone would be happy right?

Tears start to well up in my eyes and I decide to go for a walk to the park close to my house, so (BF/n) or anyone else doesn't see me like this. I sat under a large oak tree next to the lake and let my tears stream down my face, I couldn't hold it anymore. All I ever do is give (BF/n) grief, she/he doesn't need me, they could have so many friends and be so popular, but I dragged them down with me, they have to suffer so much because of me. She/he isn't the only one, mom does too. It would be better if I didn't exist.

~Flashback~

CRASH!

"S-so-sorry, I didn't mean to" I meekly whisper.

"What was that!? You're sorry? You will be when I am finished with you! Honestly, why can't you be more like your brother? You mess up everything and your grades are so low – why are you so stupid!?" Your dad screams at you. Venomous eyes stare directly into your terrified ones, an angry aura surrounding him, making your figure shake uncontrollably and back up against one of the living room walls.

~End of flashback~

I start to hiccup and sniff, letting the ongoing tears fall, I can't stop them anymore. I cry for a century, for so long that I didn't realise someone was next to me the whole time.

"Are you feeling a bit better now (Y/n)?" (C/n) asks.

There is a long pause of silence, (C/n) just faces the lake in front of us not looking at me, waiting for a response. What is he doing here!? Him of all people? When did he get here? What do I say to him, I can't just leave it like this. I am so stupid, just like dad said... I need to come up with a lie, smile and tell them everything is fine, everything is always fine.

I wipe my tears with my sleeve and compose myself the best I can. Don't forget to smile, smile and it should all go well. It should be fine right?

"I-I... I'm fine" I said as confidently as I can, I turned to face him and smiled as best I could, but (C/n) looked deeply in my eyes as if trying to find something. His once cheerful and outgoing expression turned to one of seriousness, it doesn't look right on his face. His concern... I don't need it, don't care about me, don't waste time on me, I am not worthy of anything. The school's most popular guy is wasting his time on a stupid loser like me... I need to get out of here. I start to get up and move, this scene is really uncomfortable, no one has seen me cry in so long, but now...

I start to get up to walk away and a hand firmly grabs my upper arm, I freeze, my heart rate increases frantically with fear.

"(Y/n) ... (Y/n), please tell me why you were crying, I want to help." (C/n) softly speaks.

"Why? Why do you care?" I can't hold it, I am visibly shaking, I hate people seeing me weak and I hate them caring about my meaningless existence. Tears, I can feel them welling up in my eyes again, not good.

"Huh? We are friends right (y/n)? Of course I would care about you! You were always there for me-" I couldn't take his talking anymore, what does he know? He thinks he can help me!? I don't need his help, I am fine on my own... just fine... perfectly fine.

"STOP!" I begin twisting and turning trying to get out of his hold "Please, jus- just leave me alone!" I scream at him as he calmly holds onto me with no intention of letting go. In that moment his phone rings and his hold loosens and I make a break for it running as fast as my legs could carry me. Destination: home. I am almost home, I don't look back, I can hear (C/n) screaming my name but he seems far behind when I round the corner to my street, luckily, he has no idea where I live. Key in hand I unlock the door and flung it open, closing it and locking the door behind me, thanking God my mother isn't home yet.

~Time skip a few days to a Friday at school~

It's been a few days and I have managed to avoid both (BF/n) and (C/n), but today I couldn't escape the wrath of a furious (BF/n), they looked like they would skin anyone alive if they got close. Unluckily for me, I got caught in his/her path trying to escape the lunch hall with my food, and I was forced to sit with them as they watched me eat my food and viciously chewed on their lamb dish. I didn't speak a word and neither did they, then the bell rang and I thought I was safe.

"HOLD IT! Where do you think you're going?" (BF/n) scarily snapped at me.

EEK... She/he is so scary when they are like this and I have only seen them like this once and that was directed at (FE/n) a few years back.

~Flashback~

"Why would I ever be friends with a pathetic, stupid, UGLY girl like you? You're polluting the air around me and everyone else! I only spoke to you and pretended to be friends with you, it was a dare and now it's over, see? Being around you is repulsive, I could throw up on your face and it would make it better. Now leave my sight, I don't want to be around you again!" (FE/n) lectured me so much and I couldn't hold back tears. It was the first time I cried in front of someone since my dad... I vowed then to never let anyone see me cry again, not even (BF/n).

~End of flashback~

"HEY! Are you listening (Y/n)?" (BF/n) spoke, waving their hand in front of my face as if to get me out of a daze.

"Huh? S-so-sorry, I blanked out" I replied softly. I see her/his eyes soften and they say to meet me after school at the gates or else... I don't want to find out what that or else is, I know it is never good when it comes to (BF/n).