Killing Carter

Chapter Two - Lost Girl

It has been three days since my coffee with Cole and it was now time to give him a call and arrange a date.  It has also been three days since I’ve stepped foot in the gym and three days since Cocky Prick walked me home.    That night and every night since I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him, about what he’s doing and I’m too scared to even think what this means.  I have wanted to go to the gym just to see him so because of this I have avoided it.  I have a plan to follow and Cocky Prick isn’t a part of it and he is never going to be.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket I searched my contacts for Cole and pressed the call button when I found him.  Holding my phone to my ear I took deep breaths to calm the churning in my guts as I listened to the dialling tone.  A big part of me hoped that he had given me a fake number or he had lost his phone but as I sat rigidly on my hanging chair his voice came through.

“Hello?”  He said sounding tired as if I had just woke him up even though it was half one in the afternoon.

“Hey Cole.”  I replied as seductively as I could manage in my baggy hoodie and black pyjama bottoms.  “It’s Rose.”

“Hey Flower.”  I could hear the smile in his voice, all traces of sleep now gone.

“So what are you doing?”  I asked pulling my knees to my chest.

“Just hanging.  You?”

“Meet me at the coffee shop in an hour and I’ll show you what I’m doing.”  I flirted with a smile plastered on my face and goosebumps spreading across my skin.  I quickly hung up not waiting to hear his response and threw my phone onto the bed.  I leant back against the cushions in my hanging chair, curling my legs up underneath me and wrapping my arms around myself.

 Looking around my bedroom I could see the girl I used to be.  With warm cream walls and a pale blue bedspread the room looked like it belonged to someone young and innocent.  With a large corkboard full of pictures of smiling people the room looked like it belonged to someone sociable and friendly.  And with a large elegant dressing table and mirror the room looked like it belonged to someone vain and beautiful.  That was me before that day.  I would never be that someone again.

Climbing off of my chair I made my way past the piles of discarded clothes that littered my floor to stand in front of the corkboard.  Years of my life were displayed on that board.  All the good memories shining through each frozen image, each genuine smile and each loving embrace.  All the bad memories forgotten.  I picked off a picture of two girls grinning like idiots; one had golden blonde hair that fell like a curtain down her back and dark brown eyes that were gazing at the other girl.  The other girl had dark red hair that was pinned up to show off more of her beautiful face, her brown eyes sparkling with innocence and happiness as she stuck her tongue out at the camera.  I smiled at the photo of me and Cassie, two best friends who were like sisters. 

Now we are strangers who gave up on our friendship and like every shitty thing that has happened in my life it’s all my fault.  After Jay – after that night she tried to comfort me, to get me to talk about it but it just made me feel suffocated like she was watching me all the time.  I felt like she expected me to fall into a depressed state where I would cry constantly on her shoulder and when I didn’t she hovered around me as if she was waiting for me to break down.  So one day I snapped...

“Hey are you alright?”  Cassie asked her voice full of concern as I turned up ten minutes late to the hip hop dance class.  I watched her big Bambi eyes take in my rumpled appearance then fill with pity.  I had fallen asleep after school again and only woke up when my mum came into my room to check I was ok since I’d missed tea so I’d had to rush around my room trying to get ready while convincing mum that I didn’t need to go to a counsellor.  So now that I was finally here I was stressed and not in the mood to put up with the constant looks of pity that I seemed to get from everyone I met.