Killing Carter

Chapter Four - Horrible Nightmare

“I’m sorry...you know...about earlier.”  That was the first thing he said to me when he started walking me home.  He had taken my bag off me as soon as we left the gym meaning that running away from him was not an option unless I was willing to leave my bag behind.  But just being around him felt good, really good, so I was glad for the excuse.  I had made sure to keep my distance from him as we walked but every so often, like turning corners for example, I felt my arm brush his which sent the lovely tingles through my body.

“I didn’t mean to upset you or whatever.”  He said sounding genuinely remorseful as he looked at me with his sad grey eyes.

“Just forget about it.”  I stated feeling slightly embarrassed by my mini freak out and just wanting to pretend it never happened.  If Mitch hadn’t explained why I left then I could have lied about it and said I just really needed to get home or I didn’t feel well.  Just anything that didn’t make me look like a crazy, pathetic girl.

“Just forget about what?”  He replied with a big smile on his face that warmed my insides making me smile in response.  “So what you gonna do for the rest of the day?”  He asked changing the subject.  I wasn’t sure if his question was trying to gage if I was free to hang out with him or just to make conversation.  The truth was the only thing I had to do on this nice sunny Wednesday was go to Sue’s and see if they would let me come back to work.

Sue’s was the local restaurant that I’ve been working at since I was fourteen and all the staff feel like family, which is why after Jay’s...after Jay...you know...was killed I was told by Dee, the manager, to take some time off.  After two weeks of being stuck at home replaying that night over and over in my head I decided to go back to work hoping that it would be the distraction I needed.  But as it turned out I wasn’t quite ready to go back to work...

“Kimmy?  We weren’t expecting you back so soon.  How are you Pet?”  Dee asked in her warm motherly tone, her large chest jiggling as she hurried over to me.

“I’m fine.”  I replied using my standard response.  She enveloped me in a crushing hug, her flowery perfume filling my nostrils making me want to sneeze.  “I’m just ready to get back to work, Dee.”

“Sure thing Pet.”  She smiled as she released me, rubbing my shirt covered arms and looking deep into my eyes with her murky green ones.  “You can work in the kitchen today.”  She said meaning ‘I know you’re not fine so I’ll keep you away from customers’ but I wasn’t complaining as I loved the atmosphere of the kitchen and all the yummy smells.

So that’s where I was five minutes later wearing a lime green apron on top of my white shirt and black trousers,  elbow deep in warm soapy water and dirty dishes.  I enjoyed losing myself in the simple job of being the kitchen’s dishwasher as I inhaled the aroma of vegetable soup that Pete, Dee’s husband and resident chef was concocting.  And I was glad I decided to come back as I couldn’t spend another day stuck in the silent house.  It had just become so quiet without Jay and his shit music and obnoxious friends that I found myself spending more time outside the house than in it, just aimlessly walking around.  Here sound was all around me, pots clashing, soups and sauces bubbling, chopping, juicing, chatting, and it was certainly stopping my ability to think, which was just what I needed.  Just a few hours peace from my own thoughts.

I moved the clean pots onto the draining board, stacking them on top of each other so they looked like they were about to all tumble down then I loaded the dishwasher with all the dirty plates and cutlery that were lying around the sink.  Once that was done the place was looking so much cleaner as you could actually see the granite counter top but it was never long filling up with stuff again.