Unfulfilled Wish // XXXTENTACION

6x

( I don't really know how this works out in America, but in Croatia you only get into some high schools, depending on your grades. We have 5 - A ( so 5 is A in America.) , 4 - B, 3 - C, 2 - D and 1 - F. And in the story Natalia is going to a hairdresser high school, so this is her last year. )

And with that I just felt pain in my heart. The kind of pain when you're in the middle of thousands of people and you're crying out for help, but everybody just stares at you while you cry. No one helps you.

I sat down on the blue chair. It felt like a waterfall coming out my eyes. But I had to be strong, or at least try to. I wiped all my tears and told myself everything is going to be fine.

"Mom, don't cry. You will survive, I'm sure." I tried to be nice. Usually I'm not nice so that's why I always fail at trying to be nice.

She just nods and she laid back on the bed falling asleep. I went out of the hospital and went to the shop that was right next to it. I bought her some fruit and fuze tea.

I went back to the room and left the food in the table next to her. I made my way to the bus stop and then home.

I unlocked the house and went upstairs and right into bed cause I was tired as hell.

:::

I woke up right a few minutes before my alarm rang to wake me up for school. I got up and did my usual morning routine.

I still felt the pain in my heart. It's not very easy to move on, believe me. But J brushed the pain off, and continued smiling.

I grabbed my backpack and ran to the bus stop.

:::

I had just came out of school. As usually Jah is waiting for me next to his car. He still doesn't know about my mom yet, and I don't plan on telling him.

"Hey baby. How was your day?" He asked me smiling, showing his white teeth. I gave him a fake smile.

"I guess it was okay." I said. I didn't want it to be obvious that something is wrong but I guess its done so.

"What's wrong?" He asked me worried. I just started to walk to the door, but he pulled me back. "Tell me. Please."

I guess I just had to tell him, I had no choice. Here it goes. 1..2..3..

"My mom has cancer." I said and looked down. He grabbed my small body and hugged me. I felt so safe in his arms, so safe.

It felt like he woke up the feelings inside of me. I thought I would never feel again.

"Thank you, so much." I fought the tears.

"You don't gotta thank me. Come on, get in the car and I'll drive you home, you lay in bed and I'll make you something." He said as he pulled away from the hug.

We got in the car and he drove off.

:::

When we got to my house I went to my room and laid in my bed cause my head felt like its gonna explode any minute.

After 20 minutes Jahseh came in the room with medicine and a soup.

"Here you go. Drink the medicine and go to sleep. Ill go home now." He said and I grabbed his hand.

"No, stay with me. Come lay down next to me." I said and made a cute face.

He rolled his eyes and went laid next to me.

I smiled because he was next to me, I felt so safe. I wish I could feel this safe every night.

But I couldn't. I wish i could ask him, but that would be childish. You know what, I have nothing to lose.

"Jah?" I turned around. He was asleep. He was so cute, but I had to wake him up.

I placed my hand on his and shook it. He opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times to clear his vision.

"What?" He asked with his eyes half closed. I played with my hands to hide my nervousness.

"CanyousleepwithmeeverynightpleasesoIcanfeelsalfe?"

"Slow down shorty."

"Can you um sleep with me every night so I feel safe?" I still played with my fingers.

"I'll try my best to come every night." He said, but I was satisfied with that answer.

"Oh thank you!" I hugged him. He hugged me back and after a while we fell asleep.

:::

I woke up at 8 pm and Jah was still asleep next to me, ah he's so cute.

Luckily my mom isn't home. I need to go visit her.

I'll just go by the bus. I got ready and walked to the bus station.

After the ride I went in the hospital.

Seeing my mother so helpless is heartbreaking.

I walked over to her bed and hugged her. After a second she hugged back.

"Oh honey I missed you. Im getting out it 2 or 3 weeks. Is everything in the house ok?"

"Yeah mom, no problems." I replied.

"And how's your school going?" She asked me.

"Well I guess it's fine. I mean you're gonna get my grades on the report card."

"True. Just make sure they good."

"I will, and that's a promise." I said and gave her a smile.

We talked and talked for about an hour and a half and then it was time to go home.

I kissed her on the cheek and left to the bus station.

After the ride I came home and I went to my room.

Jahseh was still asleep, weird. I just laid next to him and fell asleep.

For the first time I didn't feel scared surrounded by darkness. I felt safe.

I knew I was protected. I knew he wouldn't let anybody hurt me, and I'm sure about that.

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