I was cold. Everything was cold. And bright. The lights were burning my eyes, I kept them closed. And painful, I felt like there were a million knives being shoved into my chest and it was hard to breathe. I heard voices all calling my name. Telling me to stay awake. They werent important to me, I didnt care, and I didnt want to listen. I started slipping away but then I heard it. The only voice that made me want to keep fighting.
“Dont. You. Dare. Die. On. Me.” There was so much pain behind each word..
“Jay...” I tried to fight it. But I couldnt, I felt myself slip away...embracing the dark, and the cold.
- - - - - 3 Hours Earlier - - - - -
We were on the way to some club in downtown Chicago. All of the interviews were done for the day, and we were leaving Chicago in the morning. The boys were flying back home to the UK, and I was headed back to Massachusetts. It was going to be sad. But I was determined to push through it and try to make this work. Besides, it wasnt like this was one sided, what I was feeling was clearly going through his mind as well.
I sat in the cab, replaying the last 15 minutes in my head.
*We were walking around after getting pizza from a tiny little family owned place. I thought pizza in NewYork was good... But this was the most amazing pizza I had ever had in my life. We walked hand in hand until we came to The Bean. Jay stopped walking and I looked over. He smiled and grabbed my other hand. Looking into my eyes he spoke slowly, but confidently.
“This day. Has been absolutely amazing. And I wouldnt want to be with anyone else. Right here, right now, Im going to remember this moment forever.”
I bit my my lip, my heart started to beat faster, and I felt my face get hot. I turned away so he wouldnt see me blush but he turned my head again to face him. He slowly traced his thumb across my lips and very softly leaned down and put his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he picked me up, still kissing. I started to giggle and he put me back on the ground. He let out a light laugh and took my hand again.
“Ready to party?”
“Absolutely.” I leaned up on my tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss. *
